That's what I felt.. PS

Personal Note: Before I start telling my story for today, I want to correct that actually my friend whom I mentioned in the post "What's Going On" is actually under the influence of the Holy Spirit and not the disturber. It was the Holy Spirit which took him to travel around the world instead of the disturber. So, phew~ felt less worried.. ;)

I was glad yesterday.. I was glad NOT because I submitted my assignment yesterday, NOT because one test was over yesterday, NOT because I was finalized as an assistant secretary [Oh, God help me carry this cross] in my religious club, BUT because I experienced something significant yesterday -which was that my idea was mentioned and was considered during the club's meeting yesterday. I felt, oh so PS (Personal Satisfaction).. Well, I gave out the idea anonymously during the pre-AGM survey (handwritten, not verbally, as usual) and nobody knows that it was my idea except me *wink* oops, but now you do, but only through my blog.. ;) And I was satisfied because my idea was worth mentioning, though just being mentioned briefly.. I know some of you might think it's just a common thing, but for me, it's not. For someone like me (whose ideas are always being ridiculed, especially when being voiced out verbally), I think that this was a big moment of my life. I mean, though I was not acknowledged for the idea because the idea was given anonymously (I'm glad I wasn't cause my survey form contains a lot of other negative answers, wahahaha), I am personally satisfied, and could not help to let out a smile when my idea about creating a blog for my club was being mentioned. For your information, my club did not have a blog, and I (who is currently so into blogging) will naturally think out an idea like this "Why not this club has a blog which can keep the memories, the thoughts, the announcement, and the album for all these years?" At first, it was just a rough idea, but I kept elaborating my contents and thus, finally it was worth mentioning in today's AGM [Oh, satisfaction.. ;)] Well, I don't care if some of you might laugh at me for being so happy and excited for experiencing such an insignificant event like this (idea being accepted, so what? dahlah anonymously). I think this personal satisfaction about my idea being accepted that I experienced at the moment is equivalent as someone who is overjoyed to be offered a job in a job interview. Why, oh why, you might think, this event is so significant to me? As I've mentioned earlier, I'm used to people brushing off my ideas, people thinking that I'm good for nothing, people thinking me as a superblur person (this, I damn agree about this, but sometimes, I get quite annoyed when people get prejudiced at me for being blur), and people thinking I am such a dependent person (especially towards my sister). Because of all these evaluation and views towards me, I become not confident and low in self-esteem, thus leading to me stuttering behaviour when having a conversation with someone I'm not familiar with, or even with someone I'm familiar with, but I have a big gap with. In short, I guess, I'm just like a bug, an insignificant creature. But that moment, the moment my idea was mentioned, it was as if, finally, this insignificant bug is contributing something towards the club which she is usually seen as not taking the club seriously (FYI, I always arrived late for the club's meeting :").. I am happy that my idea was being considered. I hope they really make it happen and I don't mind to lend a helping hand if they want to create a blog or find someone to blog because I (though still amateur in blogging) already have an imagination what the blog will be like. ;)

PS: I was really touched that my friend was advising me, but as usual, I always follow my stupid intuition to let others step on my head.. :" (sorry to let you down~)