Showing posts with label MAD distractions and temptations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MAD distractions and temptations. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Wake Me Up When September Starts...

After this coming September, another picture will be added on top of my baby picture.

I am still not excited for my convocation. Maybe because I am slow in receiving that excited vibration or maybe because I just don't want to disappoint myself if I planned so much and they don't work out.

Or maybe I am already in Penang that I thought I had the rights to be slow in planning.

Or maybe because I was so worried about financial state for my coming postgraduate studies.

Anyway, here's my unchecked check-list.

1) Photo shoot, haven't decide where, which studio.  (  )

2) Clothes and shoes for convocation, haven't buy. (  )

3) Hairdo (  ) [yeah, I  had to do something with my messy hair this coming convocation. Gotta change my hairstyle again lo...]


All this can't go on because of no 4...


4) Budget (  ) No budget yet. (-_-")


Well, anyway, the most important thing is that, my family are gonna be happy with their coming convacation. Apart from that, the rest are just minor things.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

My Current Addiction

The last time I had this fanatic syndrome was during my high school years, when I was crazy about Blue. I almost forgot how it felt like to be a fanatic till I met watched them dance on Showdown 8tv!


Elecoldxhot (go to their Facebook fanpage at here. )
YES! THEM! 

The five of them who made up Elecoldxhot:
 1) Chriz Ooi (leader)
2) Dennis Yin (Tae Yang's lookalike lol)
3) Billy Yap
4)Joe Ang
5) Joe Lin

There are two Joe's and I hope I got their surnames right. ;P


For those who are watching Showdown on 8tv every Wednesday night (9.30 pm), you probably know who they are. For those who don't, let me tell you who they are. They are my current addiction (haha tidak menjawab soalan). And they are the reason why my cellphone Digi and Celcom credits are zero-ing even during this not-so-social period of my life. Okay, serious. For those who don't know Elecoldxhot, they are one of the best dance crews in Malaysia.

From what I've stalked observed, they had joined a lot of dance competitions before, including Astro Battleground. To know more about Elecoldxhot from the members itself, just go to their facebook fanpage here. ;)

 Let me tell you my own electric-moment love fanatic-at-first-sight story with them.

Every night when I am at home, I kept switching the TV channel from one to another channel. It was a Tuesday night. I guess that time I had just finished watching Keeping Up With Kardashians (which is another addiction of mine lol) and I turned to 8tv. That hour, 8tv was showing the repeat show of Showdown 2o11 and because I had nothing else to watch, I just watched it. At first, I was impressed with HMC Phlow's dance moves, and wanted to turn to another channel, but when the host (Hafiz) said that Borneo Crew is going to perform soon, I just waited for them to perform but before their turn it was Elecoldxhot's turn. And guess what, after I watched Elecoldxhot's performance, I was so impressed and without a doubt, I knew for sure that they were going to win the best performance of the night, and I was right. ;)

Elecoldxhot week 3 performance - the theme was replicate and represent.
It was the first time I set my eyes on Elecoldxhot when watching this performance from them,  I became a regular audience of this show from that moment onwards.


Honestly, I never been so fanatic or impressed with any local groups, stars or celebrities until I watched them on TV. Seriously, they are going to be the next big thing in Malaysia. ;)

So don't forget to vote for Elecoldxhot by typing SD ECX to 33399.

Elecoldxhot during week 6. Photo grabbed from here. 

I rather be broke than to be heartbroken if this deserving crew not winning this competition. So I will constantly vote for them. For Elecoldxhot fans out there, you know what you gotta do. ;)

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Bittersweet Taste

Do you notice that the picture above looks like a scary smiley face? XD




No, I am not talking about the taste of the horrible cupcakes above. They were disaster, but on my defense, they were edible. XD 

Do you know that feeling of, you don't like to do something, but since you are asked to do that thing by someone you love, then you finally force yourself to love doing that thing because that thing was supposed to be sure thing, but after days of feeling unsure yet prepared to do that thing, you finally know that the thing is not a sure thing? 

And the probability of making it a sure thing is very thin? 

What would you feel? Relieved? Disappointed? Cheated? 

Okay, maybe you don't get the thing I was crapping about in the first paragraph since it was almost like a monologue to myself. Let me be a little clearer. If you read my previous post, Kalau Aku Boleh Lambung Syiling Destiny, you would know that I was supposed to take on a temporary job that I do not like, uhuk temporary teacher uhuk. But then, since my mom said it is at an all boys primary school and I would be teaching the lower primary students, I was okay and quite excited with it.

Thus, I brought my formal attires back home, and bought a pair of formal shoes just in case. At first, I was skeptical. I had a habit of hard to believe something until I encounter it. Maybe you would say I have trust issues but then I did not want to be too sure about something so that I would not be disappointed later. For example, like the master application that I am applying now. When I bade farewell to my course mates, my course mates told me "Hey, we're gonna meet again, during the master." But I was still... skeptical. It's not like we already promised a place there.

But then, if the case is reversed, where you were promised a place, and you kept asking that if it  is a sure thing and people kept assuring you that "Of course, it's a sure thing since the headmaster said he wanted to choose you for his school." So I tried to be more optimistic and sure, and tried to be prepared, though not really prepared. :P

But then, yesterday I just got a news, I don't know how to describe it, whether it was a bad news or good news, when my mom told me that the officer at the education department at my town told the headmaster that they will choose the temporary teacher instead of the headmaster himself and they told him they already had another candidate for that position that I was promised to last time. So, my mom asked me if I still wanted to apply teaching temporarily for other school. I was like... " I am not ready to teach at another school. I prefer to teach at SK Sacr*d H****.  And if I applied but then I got offered at another school, I rather don't want to take it." Wow, you must think I sounded like a  perasan diva, trying to be choosy, when I am supposed to be in the position of accepting any offers right now.

Err, on my defense, I am doing good for the other school, you know. First, I don't like teaching that much, so I can't be flexible at it. I prefer teaching at primary schools, and to teach at a school where at least I am familiar with the atmosphere (I've been to the headmaster's office once, or twice. :P) I don't want to experience the torture of adapting to an atmosphere for the sake of doing something I don't like. If it was something that I like, it would be a different story, but then, this sacrifice is not worth it, even for the money.

So, it's either all or nothing. If I am going to teach at the first school I was promised, I would take the job, but if I could not get the position at the school that I wanted, instead of torturing myself teaching at the school that I am not familiar with, I  choose to continue my position as the homemaker and try my best to be as productive as possible by doing some gardening, cooking, and if God-willing, baking. I still want to be able to choose no matter what. Though I am in no position to be choosy now.

So that's what I am feeling now. Bittersweet. I am happy because I do not need to do what I don't like to do but at the same time, I am disappointed I am gonna lose a lot on experience,  lose my chance to compensate  my dissatisfaction towards my previous teaching skill, lose my chance to earn money which I could use for my convocation, and my chance of putting something good to see on resume.  And ironically, I am quite sad that I would lose my chance to be called "Cikgu" once more. It was quite a long time since I last heard people refer me that way.  Funny I don't like to teach but I like it when people call me that.

So yeah, it was sweet, but bitter at the same time. But then, if I am going to be a homemaker for my rest of my stay in Sibu, I am going to make sure that I make full use of my holiday by being as productive as possible. This home will never be the same again when I leave for Penang later, I promise you that.


Tuesday, January 11, 2011

My Open Diary~ (A Tribute to Facebook)

 It may be late for me to wish a happy new year but well, I still wana wish it. It's the 12th day of year 2011 and there were rumours going around that Facebook will close down on March. I may be bluffing if I say that Facebook has no impact on my life. Facebook, in fact, has affected my life so much. I treated it like my open diary. Yea, I know, a blog like this is an open diary too, but Facebook is more interactive and your friends can comment on the spot about your thoughts and you can do the same on theirs. It affects my life socially and financially (where I can just use the tagging service in facebook instead of sending sms-es). Hehe. 

Why is it not such an exaggeration if I say that my university life mainly revolves around facebook? 

Facebook lets me share my thoughts openly with my friends. Facebook enables me to see who has the same thought as me, and who doesn't. Sometimes, I know people will say that it is 'wu liao' and 'ciak pa eng' but I tell you, it was through facebook that I could borrow a text book from my junior, and it was through facebook I know the latest news, such as when do I need to get the result slip. It has done me more good than harm. And of course the harm that facebook did to me was to distract me from my studies, but apart from that, facebook had prosper my life socially. 

But I remember there were times where facebook nearly jeopardize my relationship with my cousin and my eldest sister. I remember when my eldest sister commented on my status when I lost my cell phone, I retorted back at her comment sarcastically and I knew she was hurt. And there was another time, when I went through my cousin's facebook wall, I was oversensitive and misjudged my cousin's friend comment as racist, and I  bashed my cousin's friend with hurtful comments, and consequently, I jeopardized my cousin's friendship with his friend. I did apologized at the end, but the thing happened. I couldn't erase it with an apology, right? Even my second sister and my bestie said that what I commented was too harsh. My sister told me it could be just a casual remark and good-natured jokes between friends and I took it a bit too seriously.

Despite the negative outcomes, facebook is still important to my life, especially right now., and it is a lie if I tell you that facebook closing down would not affect me.

To end this post, I would like to include the 10 most memorable posts of 2010 that I've shared in facebook.

MY OPEN THOUGHTS LAST YEAR:

7 December 2010, at 3:08 pm: I wonder if this Xmas tree that we put up in our house will survive through Xmas season. With more than a dozen cats around which hold the threat of sabotaging your Xmas tree anytime, I may not sound so paranoid for even thinking that it's might not be a crazy idea to insure every single thing in your house. (-_-")

Top of Form

December 3, 2010 at 10.43 pm: Got a very special gift this Xmas. GUess who won Blackberry Torch 9800 from Digi Evangelist at Nuffnang? ;) Thank God for this..! Never thought i could be this lucky! :')

Top of Form

November 26, 2010 at 10.51am: I wonder if the saying 'Time is Money' is still applicable. Cause sometimes we Spend and Waste our time just to Save money.. Proof: I am gonna be at KLIA from about 8 am till 7.30 pm tomorrow. Because the tickets are cheaper at that time.I desperately need something to kill the time at the airport tomorrow. *sigh*

November 24, 2010 at 10:32 pm: Exam abis.Pergi shopping.Beli barang.Syok sangat.Balik malam.Check facebook.Nanti mandi.Basuh baju.Jemur baju.Cadar juga.Last, packing.Benci packing.Sangat benci. Tapi terpaksa.Tak apa.Tabah saja.Fikir positif.Yang penting.Exam abis.Happy holiday. ;) Kepada yang masih exam- pesanan dua perkataan.Eh,bukan 'good luck'. Itu terlalu biasa dan klise.Dua perkataan je."Jangan jeles." :P Okay. good luck juga.Jgn marah.;)

Top of Form


November 5, at 11:22 pm: Sari berita utama:Seorang pelajar USM Siti Hawa Suhaili telah dianugerahkan gelaran penyumbang ekonomi negara terbaik atas jasa beliau membelanjakan lebih daripada RM100 dlm sekelip mata di Tesco Sungai Dua petang ini.Barangan yg dibeli berupa barangan kegunaan dari hujung rambut ke hujung kuku kaki.Syabas diucapkan.Dijangka pencapaian beliau ini akan direkodkan dalam Malaysia Book of Records.Sekian.

Top of Form

November 5, 2010 at 11:14am : is falling in love with Chinese songs, Chinese movies all over again. And she can't believe she fell in love with Korean artistes and songs too - (thanks to Steppu Chan). These are the Asian jewels she has overlooked all this while. And oh how she wish she did learned Chinese properly last time, she would have understood the meaningful lyrics of the songs. :(

November 3, 2010 at 8:02pmMenurut Siti Hawa Suhaili (2010), Facebook bukan sahaja digunakan oleh majikan untuk mengetahui bakal pekerja yg mereka ingin upah dengan lebih mendalam, tapi boleh digunakan oleh kita semua untuk mengenali bakal life partner dengan lebih mendalam melalui proses stalking, dan sebagainya. (actually proses stalking je - 'dan sebagainya' itu sebagai formaliti sahaja)

Top of Form


October 26, 2010 at 4:53pm : hari ni hari malas aku first time skip dua tutorial in a row mesti susah nak cari kerja kalau my future prospective boss nampak status ini tapi aku malas nak fikir pasal future hari ini malas sangat sampai malas nak guna fullstop dan huruf besar juga btw hari malas kamu bila ok tido dulu zzzzzz
Top of Form

October 21, 2010 at 9:37am: Dear God, please let me finish my Semantic assignment by today so that I will not skip the CUS gathering tomorrow.. And please, please, please make my
lecturer scribble the first letter that she learned when she check this assignment. In this, I pray, Amen.
Top of Form

October 16, 2010 at 11:14pm: Just when I thought my family at home have forgotten about me for not calling me more than a week, suddenly I heard my ringtone ringing.. Mama, how come you can read my mind? Miss u, miss family, miss home, miss the cats, arggh... but i don't miss the house work.. :P


Interframe: And I wonder, when facebook ends, where can I share these short thoughts with my friends? Hmm..
Bottom of Form
Bottom of Form
Bottom of Form
Bottom of Form

Monday, December 6, 2010

Pursuit for Career HappYness

 photo source: here

My mom always tell me not to be too choosy while looking for a job.

I know that. I know I am considered choosy because the first priority for me in choosing a job for me is whether I like that job or not. Not the salary nor the classification of the job whether it is blue collar or white collar [I am even clueless which job falls on which category (-_-") ].Whether people will classify the job as good one or not, as long as I like it and it's a clean job, then I'm on for it. I don't give a damn about what others think of my job because it's my job, my career and it is for me to decide whether it is a right job for me (or not).

I am already feeling the heat of job hunting cause I will graduate next year. Most of my peers already had their own careers and I realized that I am going to join them in the real adult world soon - the working world. No institution like university to protect you anymore, no privilege of getting student price for the services that you want to purchase, nothing.

My mom suggested me to continue with Master and she told me not to worry so much about the school fee but worry more about my future. It's nice to hear some comforting words like that but at the moment, I am done with studying. I mean, there's more to life than education, right? Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against education but for me, education is not only gained at class and lectures, but experience in the real world is an education itself.

I would like to continue Master if I can make time for it, but it won't be right after my degree I guess. I have not decide what I want to Master in, which field I like the best, so why indulge myself in something which I am still unsure of, right?

Personally, I would like to gain experience in a job first before I go for my dream career. My dream career is to be a writer, columnist or a journalist - anything to do with writing or being creative. Then again, before pursuing for this dream career, the job that I would like to experience first is the job that my senior is doing, which is to serve the community. I mean, what job is cooler than to get paid for doing good deeds for others right? Some would even do it for free. 

Still, I have to think it over. I want my future career not to revolve around earning money or getting promotion alone, but something which is more important like it involves my passion, gives me personal satisfaction and not to forget, giving back to the community. 

So, what is your definition of a career happiness? Is it a stable job, stable income, promotion, or doing what you enjoy doing? I hope it is the last one.

Whatever it is, I hope your pursuit for career happiness will meet a good outcome.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Daring You to Document...

It's that time of the year again...

for...

*drum ro
lls*

Yeah baby.. Freedom Film Festival 2010~!

And yes, I am now a KOMAS crew. Though temporarily.. ;) hehe.



Don't believe? Here's the proof. Me and my two lovely seniors.



I got to know about this volunteer thingy from a friend of mine, Man Lee. Though it was in the exam season, I could not lose this opportunity to participate in something happening like this. So voila, me, two seniors and two juniors jumped up to this opportunity to volunteer in Freedom Film Festival 2010 at Kompleks Penyayang Pulau Pinang, and the rest of the process, as they say, is history...

The two of us with Sarah, one of the organizers.


Counter girls in action!

Me and my seniors & juniors kept switching roles and taking turns in our duty so that each of us could have the opportunity to watch the movies.

We switched between the duty as registration receptionist and the usher - which is also a good thing to train us to be more versatile (hak3) besides being not bored to death to stuck with one job the whole day.


The three winning films for this year are namely;
1) Pilih (by Loo Que Lin)
2) Hak Dinafikan (by Abri Yok Chopil & Shafie bin Dris)
3) Kisah Tauke Mancis & Minyak Tumpah (by Sheridan Mahavera & Siti Nurbayah Nadzmi)

Pilih is briefly about the student body election in Malaysian campuses and how the AUKU (Akta Universiti and Kolej Universiti) had put a boundary to the students' freedom and rights in decision-making.

Hak Dinafikan, on the other hand, portrayed how the orang Asli protested against a proposed new land policy, and among the faces there I recognized is Kak Tijah, one of the orang Asli active spokeperson.

Kisah Tauke Mancis & Minyak Tumpah depicted the story of the extremism regarding the relocation of a temple - and how some intolerance occur among neighbours in a neighbourhood. This film is somewhat daring for portraying a little sensitive issue regarding races and religions.

Among the three, I liked Pilih the best because it was something I can relate to, which is the student body election. I never really knew my rights as a university student until I watched this film.

There were a lot of other films but I did not get to watch them because it was about the overseas countries.


Quite a crowd turning up during the night of 13th November. ;)

Last but not least, say hi to the friendly usher, my junior Vera. ;)


Actually, KOMAS did come to Sarawak for this FFF screening at Miri but the feedback was cold. Not many who turned up for the screening. Perhaps the issues being shown were not that relevant to Sarawakians compared to here at Peninsular. Thus, we Sarawakians were encouraged to propose and idea for short films to document it back there so that the other Sarawakians can relate to it. Issues? haha. I have no trouble looking for issues as the first issue back in my hometown Sibu would be about gangsterism. How many of us Sibu people are daring to do some short film about that? Hmm..

What I can conclude from my experience here was that there are many issues around the country but many do not dare to document or even to speak about it. Most of us just kept quiet, since it did not affect us directly. Well, I am one of them. When I saw injustice, I rage and vent my anger over it but I did not do anything which may lessen or even make a little difference to that injustice.

Wow you may say that I start to involve politics here but that was not it. I want to talk about social responsibility. Since I couldn't do something about it, all I can do for now is to blog about it.

And yeah, I had fun volunteering at FFF for the priceless experience!


PS: Thanks KOMAS (as if they are reading my blog lol but anyway) for the free t-shirt, free food and the pocket money lol. Thanks for rewarding me for doing something which I would do for free!


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Life Ain't Easy...


... when you checked the balance in your bank account and it is not in the amount that you thought it was supposed to be. *insert 'toink' as sound effect*

... when you opened the reference book to study and WTH, the contents just could not make its way to your brain.

... when you missed your family so so much, but you know that you just don't feel satisfied to be confined at home.

... when you felt like sharing your problems but you just could not utter out a single word, just because you think that it is better to swallow it all in than to vomit it all out.

... when people expect you to do your best but you just didn't meet to their expectations, just because you lose your self control to overcome the temptations.

... when you know that compromising is a MUST in order to get the other thing that you want but you just would not give in to compromising.

SO, WITH ALL THESE DILEMMAS, I VOW THAT I AM GOING TO:

1) LEAVE THIS BLOG ALONE UNTIL 4TH OF MAY (I'M GONNA BE ON A HIATUS BEBEH).

2) LESSEN MY FACEBOOKING TIME. (1 HOUR PERDAY INSTEAD OF 10 HOURS PERDAY, OKAY I KNOW THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE, LET'S MAKE IT TO 2 HOURS PERDAY.) :(

3) TO DO MY REVISION UNTIL ME AND MY BRAIN UNDERSTAND WHAT I REVISED.

4) TO REMEMBER MY FAMILY BACK AT HOME WHO ARE COUNTING ON ME TO STUDY RELIGIOUSLY AND MAKE THEM FEEL THAT'S IT'S WORTH IT THAT THEY SEND ME MONEY EVERY MONTH (THOUGH I ALREADY HAVE FULL LOAN OF PTPTN -I'M A PAMPERED CHILD, WTF) AND I SPEND IT WISELY (?) WHEN THEY CAN ACTUALLY IMPROVE A LOT OF THINGS AT HOME WITH THE MONEY THAT THEY SENT ME.

5) FOUR VOWS ARE ALREADY ENOUGH TO MAKE ME NERVOUS, MY DEAR.. SO DON'T EXPECT MORE..

[Interframe: Today I went to the library and saw a RM50 note on the floor and just like a reflex action, I sent it to the library's receptionist at the readers' adviser counter. When I finally think about it, I was like, what did I just do? It was not like the librarian could track down the owner of the RM50 and I expect that the money will eventually end up in the library's fund. Well, if the library is not as money-minded as it is now (where it charges fee for locker usage) I won't mind it if the money ended up in the library's dana, but since the library is so money-oriented now, I regretted sending the money there when I can actually do a real charity with the money, eg: give it to my club's fund, ahem, or give it to the beggars united. Now, the only thing I could wish for is for the owner to show up, as long as the money won't end up in the library's fund!)

Thursday, April 15, 2010

He Came, He Looked, and He Asked for Money...

Date: 2nd April 2010
Location: In front of Our Lady of Sorrows Church
Time: Around 7.45 pm or later, after Good Friday service.


The rain was pouring down heavily. Each one of us who just attended the Good Friday service was very hungry. Step, Man Lee, me and several of our juniors were deciding which cafe or restaurant to go to during that rainy day.

"Let's go to Prangin Mall," was the final decision that we made. While waiting for the others to join us, suddenly a man of about 50 year old appeared and talked to us with his fluent English.

"Hello, I am a Catholic too, I just attended the Good Friday service," he started to introduce himself. " I came to Penang to attend this service from my hometown in Perak, and I needed to go back tonight. But the bus fare is RM8, and I only have RM5," he elaborated, while sheltering himself with his right hand. He looked quite in a pitiful state, but that time, I was sceptical, and quite annoyed, because he was using the tactic to create a dilemma in us for being a Christian who just came back from church. It was as if, since we were going to church, we should be good enough to show some sympathy and do some good deeds to him. The hidden premise is that, if we do not help him, what's the use of us going to church then?

"I need some money to go back home, " he continued.

I was thinking, okay, maybe I would help to contribute only RM1 in case if he really needed the cash. But before I could say or do anything, my junior, Joe, took out his RM 10 note and gave it to the man without saying much.

The man, of course, was very happy, and responded with "God bless you!!" and walked away in the downpouring rain.

Most of us were looking at Joe with our wide-eyed expressions.

"Joe~" was the only word that came out from our mouths during our speechless moment.

"Mana tau kalau dia benar-benar perlu duit tu," was his answer. Then we agreed with him.

"Ya, betul, " Man Lee agreed with Joe's decision. It is because, if he really needed the money, we would be committing sins of omissions for not helping him, but if he was lying to us, well, he was the one sinning, and we were not to bear the guilt of not helping him. But still deep down in me, I wouldn't offer that much to the person whom I still doubted, but since Joe was generous and all that, maybe it was okay. God bless him.


FAST FORWARD TO THE FOLLOWING SATURDAY...
Date: 10th April 2010
Location: the hawker stall area at Sunway Hotel, near Our Lady of Sorrows Church
Time: Around 8 pm or later, after Sunset Mass

We were sitting at our usual place before having our dinner. Me, Claire, Natalia, Mike, Deidre and Mike's future girlfriend, ahem, V*v**n, were trying to decide what to eat before we order the food. Suddenly, a man appeared at our table, he somewhat looked kinda familiar to me, and he spoke in English. He was greeting us with some "Hi Christian " thingy and tried to remind us of our responsibility as Christians, or precisely, Catholic. He was asking for money to go back to his hometown, and this rang a bell in me.


No wonder he looked familiar! He was the same guy who asked for money from us when we finish our Good Friday service a week earlier. OMG, and he was still using the same old crappy story to gain our sympathy, but too bad you're busted, fraud~! Checkmate! The same old Why-you-Christian should-help-me crap and talking about how good if he could go back to his hometown now. Gosh, he wasn't creative for a fraud, huh?

I interrupted him and told him that "Weren't you the same guy who asked for money last week? Hadn't you got your money to go back to your hometown already? My junior gave you the money, and it was RM10!" My words were more or less like that, based on my weak memory. The mean gene inside me was pouring out.

He looked at me, then he said something like this "You must be mistaken! I just came here today," he tried to fool me. What did he think I am? A cow?

"No, no, no! I am sure it was you! You told the same story, going back to your home town, you're a Catholic," I said and at the same time he was talking continually to Mike and V*v**n, maybe trying his luck? Lol.. We were not born yesterday, my dear fraud. Before he went away, he said "God bless you!" and I replied "God bless you too," with a goofy smile.

In my heart, I was thinking, "Oh, no Joe... Too bad your good deed was wasted on a fraud like him." But I guess it's the intention that matters, no matter to whom the help was offered to, even for a fraud..


I guess, to be fooled once, is okay, but to be fooled twice, no way. I wouldn't give in to that. I know maybe he really needed the money, but why did he need to lie to get them? By the way, he's healthy, and he could probably get a job, but I guess, with his reputation as a fraud, it was hard for him to get any. To help a parasite is also a sin, at least for me. So, next time, to be fooled by a person once, it's his fault. But to be fooled twice by the same person, it could be your fault.

Moral of the story: Next time, make a deal with people whom you are helping. If he/she wants the money from you, the condition is this: THEY HAVE TO TAKE A PICTURE WITH YOU! HEHE. SEE IF THEY WILL STILL WANT TO FOOL YOU IN THE FUTURE?



Friday, March 12, 2010

It's just hard to satisfy everyone when you're feeling empty inside....

This busy-ness is making me feel empty..

I wanted to help, but I can't even help myself..

Oh, great, it just made me look more idiotic and selfish than usual..

If I can buy time with my life, I would...

Life is empty without enough time to take back and relax...

What's the use of a long life if it's just focused on getting everything done?

And worries?

Worries are sign of selfishness.

Selfish about what will happen to ME tomorrow?

Why should I worry about ME??

Worried that I might be HATED?

Worried that people might MISUNDERSTAND me?

Whatever that is, I don't wanna care anymore..

Whatever people think about me, whether I'm selfish, whether I'm weak,
whether I'm idiotic, that's not gonna matter to me anymore...

Because they should be worried about what I think about them too..

I should just worry about where I go when I die...

I know I don't deserve to go to HEAVEN...

But at least let me feel the forgiveness in purgatory...

Indeed, this season of lent is full of temptations for me..

Amen.

Monday, November 9, 2009

a walk in their tiny shoes..

Interframe: When reading the children’s books for my coming Friday’s exam, I couldn’t really understand some of the vocabulary in those children books – even for my 21-year-old brain. Now, I remember that I never really read as a child though I was familiar with some of the story books. I just browsed through the pictures. And I guessed some of the interpretations I made when I was little about the storyline through the illustrations in the story books were almost correct. So I guess that was how I learned literature as a child – interpreting pictures instead of texts.


If somebody ask me whether I love children, without much doubt I would answer "Yes." And if I had the chance to elaborate, I would add "I love playing with children, but I dislike taking care of them." Yes, it's true that I love children - but I love children not in the motherly kind of way (maybe because I hate responsibilites towards another person), but rather in another sense, where I treated them like my friends, my equals. If I were to play with a child, I would lower myself to their level, trying to be someone their age though I am obviously older than them by a couple of years. (Yes, jangan risau, aku jenis yang sedar diri aku dah tua).

I would try to see the world through their eyes, at the same time trying to reminisce the way I was when I was their age. Unfortunately, I've always failed, because I've lost that gift - the gift of innocence - while growing up. Thus, I couldn't see the logic why they wanted to do something out of mind - like watching silly cartoons nonstop, going out to the playground on a very hot sunny afternoon, or maybe just a walk up and down the stairs where some of my little cousins found interesting. Those activities were all so.. boring and meaningless? So I resorted to being the villain - the one whom the kids can play with but at the same time, the one whom they always tried to be against. (Ask my two cousins - Rachel and Ezra - and yes, these are their real names..)

Instead of being someone who would play along with the kind of games that the kids wanted to play, I would suggest another game - which was more interesting to me but not to them, but like it or not, they had to follow reluctantly to my suggestions or else, no games at all.

When Rachel and Ezra were little, whenever they wanted a playmate, they looked for me, but if they wanted something like sweets or junk food, they looked for my elder sisters - either Michele or Melissa - because both of them were more generous in treating them with those junkies, but me, I was like - second guessing myself in giving so much junkies to them because I wanted to save some for myself and yes, I admit, being with children sometimes bring out the child in me, apparently. Thus, it was no wonder that they did not listen to me like how they listened to adults. In other words, I wasn't fearsome to them. (This explains why the kids that I used to teach at my alma mater were not scared at me at all - instead they rebel against me).

All of us must had a lot of moments to cherish during our childhood. There were amusing times, and most of them would be lovely times, whether our first Christmas at our parents' hometown, our first trip to somewhere foreign to us, and our first big birthday celebration. Nowadays, we are all grown up, so it's now the little generations' turn to experience their childhood. But the kids nowadays might have different childhood from ours, and ours were definitely different from the older generations'.

Coming from different generation, there was always this sort of expressions, "Kids nowadays are not as good as us," "Kids nowadays are pampered too much," and so on. Yes, some of the expressions were true, but what do we expect when they were raised in different atmosphere from us, or perhaps our parents, the earlier kids? And what makes us think that we are not responsible why kids nowadays are behaving the way they are - too demanding, and sometimes, disrespectful - compared to the earlier children who were always ended up being beaten with rattan by the fearsome parents if they try to be mischievous.

Kids nowadays - are just as much as innocent as us when we were little. It was just their luck to be raised in this atmosphere which are so polluted with pop modern cultures, which actually, were invented by us - the older children, the used-to-be-innocent earlier kids.

Instead of putting a harsh judgment on these kids, why not we ask ourselves "Are adults nowadays any better?"

What do you expect of your kid when you put your kid in front of the television, 24/7, just so you can have a rest after your day's job?

Are you even aware what your kids are watching on the television?

Instead of trying to let your child understand you - why don't you try to understand your child?

They were born to this world without much choice - don't let them regret the decision that they didn't make.

What is the difference with adults in the earlier days and adults nowadays? (in Malaysian context)

Earlier adults though generally not as educated, they know what was best for their children - which was sufficient attention. (But count out the adults during the Victorian area because they were practising child labour back then.)

They didn't confine their children within the four walls of their home - they let their children mix around with the neighbouring children and thus, the children were more contented. Or precisely, you, the present adult, were more contented when you were little.

So, as modern adults, what can you teach your children - since I guess most of you live in the apartment building where letting the child roaming around the neighbourhood could endanger them more than helping them?

All you can do is to give your little child the attention he or she deserves. Perhaps, bring them to the playground occasionally. Or there was this one little simple thing you could do - which is to read them bedtime stories, from a selection of children story books. There were many underlying messages in children story books, which was dedicated more to the adults rather than to the children.

When I mentioned that I didn't understand most of the vocabularies in a children story book though I am already an adult (or young adult precisely), I guessed maybe, children storybooks were not meant for children alone. I think it was meant for adults to read them - for their children, and elaborate the story for them. And while reading the story books for their children, adults may get to understand the children's world better because they might get the underlying messages inside the stories- and at the same time, kids can understand the moral of the story better through their parents' elaboration. You know, while studying children's literature, there were many underlying messages, where adults were portrayed as villains in children's eyes. How sad can it be? Do you want to be the villain in the eyes of the innocent ones?

Please, try to read some storybooks to your children from now on. Cartoons in the tv are sometimes good, but you wouldn't know what the message the kids will conclude since you couldn't help them interpret the cartoons in the tv everytime they watched it. Do read story books to your children oftenly - preferably during bed times since it's the only time you will be off from work - and try to walk in their tiny shoes and guide them in their children's world because you wouldn't want them to miss what you think was the most memorable stage of your life - which was indeed, your own childhood long time ago.



Interframes: I recommend story books like Heidi, Alice in the Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz to be read for children around 5 to 7 years old. They were nice stories and very suitable during the growing up phase. And yes, I should be on a hiatus like my sister now since self-control to restrain ourselves from temptation is one of the quality in becoming a good adult. heheh. And yes, now I am trying to be a responsibe adults towards children, but that i assure you, will take a very long time though. ;) Yes, this will be my last post during exam season. Or else, i will have have the worst universityhood.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Next Week's Madness!!

Gosh.. I didn't realize I just posted a title without contents until I visited a friend's blog and noticed that I suddenly have an update from her blog links. And the update was (refer to the title above) without contents. Err, I don't remember clicking the 'Publish Post' button.. Guess I must had accidentally clicked it.. Huhu.. Paiseh..

Since next week I will sit for two tests, namely Phonetics and Phonology (on Monday, fyi) and Children Literature (on Thursday, huhu), two replacement classes on Tuesday and Wednesday(both two hours, -__-) and my 50% coursework assignment needed to be handed in next Friday, I guess there will be sooo little time for chores and rest. Glad that I've bought my stock last night! *wink*

About the 50% coursework asssignment which I needed to hand in next Friday, it's my Creative Writing final draft. Yeah, and my first draft got a negative remark from my lecturer. The story I wrote was about a transgender woman (Joe) who went to have her (actually his) confession with a priest. Then, Joe remembered her past, when she was still a male, a teenage boy, back in high school. There, I wrote that he had a best friend Ralph who had always protected him since he was a usual target for bully. Joe eventually fell in love with his own best friend and that's when their friendship began to break because Joe was too embarassed to meet him after his confession with him. After that, I wrote how he became a school drop-out and met a beautfiul lady who happened to be transgender woman. She influenced him to follow her step and promised to sponsor his transgender surgery only if he sign a contract with her. He signed the contract without much hesitation and after he had the operation, he, err, in this context, since he already undergone a surgery, he is officially a she physically and mentally. Little did she know that herwork as a masseur was more than meets the eye. The service was more than just massaging. There were sexual service included.

Joe felt betrayed and he soon approached her. She said that Joe had to do what he had to do because she had signed the contract. Joe was trapped in that circumstance, since she had not much option less, as a school drop-out. After accepting her reality, Joe really put in her servcie to whatever the clients wanted. Finally, she was diagnosed with AIDS. She lost her way, though she had much money that she earned from her profession. Suddenly, she remembered about her past, her belief, which reminded her of her only best friend, Ralph. She was extremely distressed, and she couldn't sleep for many nights. She needed peace, and that was what she got when she finally made her way to the church, and eventually made it into the confession box, to have her confession.

After all the stories of her past with the priest, the priest was silent. He opened the curtain and Joe was shocked to learn that he is actually Ralph. Her own best friend. She reconciled with him and at least gained what she wanted all this while, peace and forgiveness.

Looking back at this story, no wonder the lecturer doesn't like it. It's too dramatic, and so coincidental. I guess I have to change my ending. Which means, more work and more time consumption. If this was 20% coursework, I wouldn't mind that much, but this is 50% out of the of my total mark for Creative writing, so no, I would not take any chance on this one.

Err, last but not least, wish me and all the ELS students good luck in our test tomorrow. ;) Peace, yo!!

Monday, August 31, 2009

Death Note..

1) Movie Review [LHP 453] - ( )
Status: Haven't start.

2) Writing test, [LHP 453] Thursday, 3rd Sept - ( )
Status: Haven't prepare.

3) Short story draft [LHP 453], Friday, 4th Sept - ( )
Status: Don't know which story to choose, thus haven't start to prepare the draft.

4) Phonetics and Phonology [HET222], test, 7 Sept - ( )
Status: Don't understand a thing in the book.

5) Structure and grammar in English [HET 213], assignment, 14th week deadline - ( )
Status: I haven't started doing what was supposed to be handed in this week, so what do you think this status will be?

6) Human Communication [YKT 101], assignment, 9 October deadline - ( )
Status: Haven't even choose which question to do. So, of course haven't do the research.

Conclusion: Don't judge your assignments by your units. Even with only 17 units, my days are numbered.

Additional Special list:

7) Club's activities.
Status: Have to do it weekly.

8) Act in a project which is going to be done by my MassCom friend.
Status: I think I cannot make it. Hope they find another Chinese girl to replace me.

Conclusion: To improve my pointer is an impossible task. Bye, bye, Baskin Robbins~!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Fate is Sabotaging Me...

I was right when I said that this holiday is not enough to settle all my assignments (thanks to facebook)..

Okay, so today I have to shop for groceries with my friend to use for my club's activities tomorrow, and gosh, I still haven't start searching for my presentation contents. (-_______-) No, I am not going to embarrass myself during the presentation, no, please no.. But why, there aren't enough notes for this particular topic - Nonverbal communication. Coincidentally, the notes that my friend gave me exclude that particular topic, and I was wishing I won't get this nonverbal topic, but guess I got it now. (Okay, I wasn't wishing under the meteor, so I think that was why it didn't come true) I went to the photostate shop under the library in hopes for this notes, and gosh, it was the notes for language and meaning (the previous chapter). Okay, I was damn regretful I didn't bring along my camera for the Human Communication lecture. HUHU!!!

Then, there is this phonetics and phonology test which is going to happen this Monday. I was like, what, I could not even play the CD in my newly bought expensive phonetics and phonology text book! Yes, and I was the student who always not paying attention while dear lecturer explaining in front, so padan mukalah saya nie.. HUHU!! (swimming in the river full of tears)

And I have to prepare some games items for one game we are going to play at Kerachut beach tomorrow. Hopefully the activity turn out fine and most importantly, it's not gonna rain, yup?? No, Mother Nature, don't follow Fate who kept sabotaging me.

Update: But it was raining while we hike. Naughty, naughty Mother Nature. Hmmph..

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Sudden Obsessions..

I am obsessed with doing the laundry. I am obsessed with sweeping the floor. I am obsessed with researching for my assignments. I am obsessed with trying to make my holiday as productive as possible. I am truly obsessed of time, thinking that I am running out of time. Gosh, I sound like the White Rabbit in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. I could not believe that during this holiday, I've accomplished more than what I did during my two-month holiday. I hope I did not miss out on anything I was supposed to do cause my holiday is not a holiday actually, just a break from classes to focus on homeworks and hostel chores.

I am obsessed with hygiene all of a sudden due to the H1N1 virus. Though hygiene could not really prevent the virus from spreading, at least it lessen the risk. Okay, gotta continue with my work now. Chao.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I Miss the Time..

- when I was able to have a good night sleep, worrying only about tomorrow, and not about next week, next semester's activities, and much more.

- when I could spend time with my friends in informal activities, having fun, no worries, and free from stress.

-when I only have to worry about academics and the weather and nothing else.

-when I would not be judged just based on my efficiency to do something, but by my ability to make people laugh.


- when being responsible is only a bonus quality, but not a necessity.

But, as we grow up, we have to embrace responsibilities. No matter how heavy the burden is, no matter how busy you are, no matter how dilemma you face to say no because you have to give time to the other activities, you have to know what your PRIORITIES are. Sometimes we make mistakes. Sometimes we make the wrong decision. I hope I can give my full commitments to the activities I am obliged to. I hope I won't disappoint anybody. It's hard, but I will try my best.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Grandmama is Coming to Town!!

"You better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout I'm telling you why, Grandmama is coming to town~"

My grandmother is coming to town, well Georgetown, and she came all the way from Johor actually to attend a wedding celebration with my uncle, and at the same time,and she wanted to visit her two beloved granddaugthers...


US!!!

How do you describe your grandmother?

Most of the time, we describe our grandmother as someone's who's serious, someone who's sensitive, someone who's demanding, and most of the time, we describe our grandmother as an uncool person, yes? (Sad but true, haiz~) Yes, we all love and treasure our grandmother dearly, but how many of us will walk side by side with our grandmothers at the shopping complex without a slight of self-consciousness? (Oh, I guess I kind of sexist here.. Ok, grandpapas are in the subject too.. ) Urm, I don't feel self-conscious while walking with my grandmother, but I just didn't walk side by side because I walked too fast --->refer to my habit at the side of the blog..

So, you think grandmothers aren't cool? Ya think grandmothers know nothing about being cool? Hmm, think again.... Cause I want to bet with my 10 cent that my grandmother is cool, in some way lah.. Well, she's not always this cool, so I was kind of shocked myself, ya know~ That's why instead of referring her as grandma or grandmother, I am referring her as grandmama here because it has a lil mama feeling (rapper kind of name) to it.. (*=*)

So, okay, I am soo gonna collect my 10 cent now~!


Look, will the real cool grandmama please stand up?



Yo, look at two Bond girls!!

My grandmother kind of told us that she had bought this new sunglasses, and out of the blue, she told me that she wanted to show me how she looks when she wore them.. And I was kind of
blur + shocked = excited!!

So, me and my sis took the chance to immortalize this historical moment inside these precious photos..

Ah Ma, ei, Grandmama really enjoyed the spotlight, huh~
Well, the setting is not as glamorous as the models but -- let's just ignore it..

So, that's how cool my grandmama is..

From wearing sarong when I was a kid, to wearing long pants and blouse and now to wearing sunglasses.. There's moments of reformation in everyone of us, and old age doesn't mean we should stop being modern, right?

Ok, lai, lai, my 1o cent now!! Urm, second thought, 5o cents!!




Saturday, April 18, 2009

Hello Blog ....

Dearest Blog,

It's been a long time since I last update you. All I want to do now to compensate my absence and negligence towards you and try to update you with my stories for the last few days since my birthday last week.

Saturday, 11 April 2009
Well, I celebrated my birthday with my sister and her friends --> (automatically, I should refer them as seniors), because I shared the same birthday as my senior Angel, [and she's as angelic as her name ;)].. So, we kind of have a picnic style birthday celebration and at the side of Bakti Permai's block. Oh, they bought a cake to celebrate our birthday, and my sister presented me with Tupperware gift. Aww, so touched. (*=*)

Then, after that, I excused myself and went to find my roommate/friend, Kim Hong, and my hostel mate/friend Lee Ying. We went to dine at KFC and took a walk around Pasar Malam. That night, I only bought the snacks because no mood (and money) to buy the somewhat attractive and cheap clothes. Then, when we reached our hostel at around 9 something, we went to our room and had our nice little makan-makan activity. In the middle of eating, suddenly I received a phone call from a classmate from my Literature Course. So, at around 10.15pm, I went to the Cafe Fajar to meet my classmate and did the revision though I am not really sure whether the notes that I took during the lectures and classes were right or not. My classmate really did his revision and when he asked me some of the questions, I was like -- huh? *blur-blur reaction* Huhu~! From that moment, I really vowed to myself that I had to do my revision. But when I went back to my room that night, it was facebook again which tops my priority list. Adui!!

Sunday, 12 April 2009
I went for the Sunday Mass service and after that, I went to have my lunch with sister and seniors at the Komtar Cafe. As usual, the waitress there never cease to amuse us with her Hokkien dialect when we ordered our drinks. After that, we took a walk around Prangin Mall for a while. We went to take a look at the DVD. My sister and I shared to purchase a DVD with the price of RM12 --> which was totally worth it!! The DVD comprises of four movies, Slumdog Millionaire, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Changelling and I forgot the other one movie already... So totally gonna indulge myself in DVD watching right after exam, or even when I am back at Sibu (home mad home).. In the afternoon, I did the revision with my friends and at least, we managed to cover some of the topics for the exam the following day.

Monday, 13 April 2009
I went to the exam at Dewan RST with my friend. Without her, I would be lost half dead to find the way to the exam hall. It was my first time to go to the Dewan RST and was a bit jakun for a while. I could not contact my close friend and I was like nervous and blur at the same time. Today is exam, wo~.. Oh, no! I went to her room earlier that morning but nobody answered the door. Hmm? I was not the only one wondering. Most of my friends were asking me about her. They were all worried about her. I was touched at their cares towards her. Aww, aren't I lucky for having coursemates who cared about each other? (sniff sniff, tangan lap hingus)

Tuesday, 14 April 2009
Today is the only day without exam. But the next day have to sit for LSP. But, okay, sabar~ have to be tough. If the questions are tough, come what may.. I am going to accept it. Then, remembering something, I called my friend again, but I could not reach her. I was like, hmm? *blur-blur moment part 2*..That day, I just received a birthday wish from her, and that time, she was still at her hometown. But now, she seemed not to be at the university. And she did not pick up the phone.

Wednesday, 15 April 2009
As usual, I arrived not too early to the examination hall. Went to look for my table's number from the list and I saw my table's number is one. ONE? Okay, nevermind. At least, this means that it is the easiest table to find, and the earliest to leave the examination hall too. ;) The questions were like, hard for the finding the meaning in context part. The essay was okay, still gorengable -->word derived from MaD Dictionary, not too hard and not too easy, but damn hard to find the contents relevant. Man, at last, had to start the menggoreng activity again! But, what to do, all is written and done, could not turn back the time.

Thursday, 16 April 2009
The word of the day would be "No Lo Se!" instead of "No lose" because it was Spanish language exam. I had a hard time answering the last part of the questions, especially the listening part. Cis! Even if the speakers for the listening part speak in Hokkien (my mother tongue), I could not catch what the crap the voice was crapping about because of their rapid speech. So, at last, had to resort to intuitive decision to guess which character was which according tothe voice that was crapping about the information. But, after the exam, I got to play a game about delivering pizza, to help in a survey done at the room next to our exam room, and this playing game survey kind of released my stress for a short moment, lah~..

Friday, 17 April 2009
LKM paper. No mood to crap about it. Guarantee could not score much. I just wrote three or four contents for the essay and my kesalahan bahasa part was kind of lintang-pukang. Huhu~! I could imagine an "Ambik Kau!!" phrase being thrown to my face for my negligence in study and my commitment towards facebook. Ambik Kau!!

That night, I did a revision with my friend at the library. Hehe. We were being hardworking during the HET 123 exam eve. And guess what, the part we studied half dead did not come out in exam. (-_-)

Saturday, 18 April 2009
HET 123 exam today..

Before exam moment:
Finally, I got to contact my friend's sister. Her sister told me that she did not know where my friend is because she's not with my friend at the moment. And, as usual, my reaction was *blur part III*. Plus, her sister told me that my friend's handphone could not be used at the moment. So, she was absent for her fourth exam of the semester. I don't know what to do, because I could not do anything except saying this cliche thing "I don't know" out from my mouth. Huhu~, it's depressing to feel helpless. Please come back here, my friend. Life in a university is tough, but at the end of the day, all we could remember was the sweet memories.

I myself experienced a lot of suffering during my highschool years, and I vowed not to continue studies after Form Five, because I was truly depressed and I was kind of allergic to schooling environment (bangun pagi, gosok gigi, cuci muka, pakai baju, etc -remember the cute but annoying song?). As a stubborn girl and child, I argued with my parents a lot about my decision of not going to continue my studies, but at last, I could finally drag my lazy bum to continue Form Six. And Form Six was different. It was in Form Six I learned that high school wasn't that bad after all. Maybe I could go through Form Six better because that was where I became more close with my best friends and found new friends who taught me lives from a different view. My new friend, who taught me a lot, would be the one who could still make other people laugh despite her suffering. I guess, she's the kind of person who followed the saying "When I dig others out of troubles, I find a place to bury my own - quote from anonymous". Okay, I guess that's all, blog.

After exam moment:
Emo forever, bebeh!! The word 'out' is categorised as 'adverb', not 'prepositon.' CRapzz!!!



Last but not least, sorry again, blog, for not writing in you for a long time (one week jer, ape? takyah merajuk le blog..) When my exam really finish, I would update you as often as possible.


Your sincere writer, ei, typist,

Maureen... (-_-) --> Emo look.. And it really indicates what I am feeling now..



Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Gonna Rest My BLog Till I turn 21..

Ya, I think blogging is the biggest temptation that I have to overcome in order for me to do my revision. Besides blogging, arggh, it's the U-tube's "Just One Boy" live performance video by Aizat AF5 (my newly crowned idol) which was distracting me from my studies. I could not even remember the Spanish words that I jotted down just now. So unproductive revision, I say. I guess I have to sacrifice for now. Or else, all the hardships Ifaced for this semester would go up in smoke. I mean, I don't want to repeat HIstory (pun intended) where I got D in my last semester's History test, so I don't wanna repeat the test.. Huhu..Okay, so I hereby promise that 1)I won't create a new post until I turn 21.. 2)I won't watch U-tube until I reach 21. 3)I won't check facebook, (Oh no!!) until I reach 21. Man!! What have I promised myself to do!!



(-_-)

As what I've always talk about life, it's a compromise..