You Made Me Sinned

They smiled at you, approached you, convinced you that they were doing a survey and they just needed approximately 10 minutes of your time. Although you were in a hurry, they were still eager and determined, assuring you that you have nothing to lose listening to them.

 

I beg to differ, people. First you will lose your time. Secondly, you will lose your temper, which means you would add in another additional sin of cursing them inside your mind and also under your breath.

 

So, who are 'they' that I am referring to???

 

It all started with my experience last year end. During the month of November. My hectic month, fyi.

I just came back from the library - fatigue was the only appropriate word to describe my condition at the time. After having a late dinner at about 9.30 pm at Bali Bali, I walked back to my apartment. On the journey back home, out of the blue, there were two students of different sexes who were still walking looked at me and approached me. I was like, shit, I am in a hurry. Can't you notice that I am like walking 90km/h now?

 

After stopping me,they told me that they were doing a survey and they needed about 10 minutes of my time. I was like ok, so they needed to do a survey, so I just responded to them. As a student myself, I knew how it felt to be going around looking for candidates to fill out a survey form.

 

But the thing was, they asked me to watch a video. I was like "how long is this video? Because I am in a hury. I just came back from library and I am very, very tired." Still insisting, they assured me that it would not take a long time. I was like, okayyy.

 

Then I watched a video about how this one religion, have spread around the world and were shown with the feedback of the public to this religion, where there were quite a number of people are conforming themselves to this belief. The two students were telling me about 'Heavenly Mother'. Using the logic of their religion's teaching, and their own interpretation of the Bible, they told me that all the creatures in the earth are created with partners, with two sexes. One male, one female. So they told me, how could you believe that there is only one God, male, and there is no female God, whom they deemed as "Heavenly Mother."

 

The reason and the point of this post is not that I am going to degrade their belief, or their determination to preach. I do not care that they want to proceed with their stance in the notion about the existence of Heavenly Mother, but the thing is, when they tried to challenge my belief, I was bothered. I do not like people challenging my belief, despite my insufficient knowledge in the religious doctrines and my infrequent bible reading. 

 

The moment I heard the guy preacher told me "How can you only believe there is only God the Father?" my temper was rising. Then they continued speaking, adding on and on about their religion, and it felt like bullets coming out of their mouth.

Bullet 2: "Actually the Sabbath day is on Saturday, it is not on Sunday."

Bullet 3: "Actually we consume to Holy communion only during the Passover, and not on other Masses."

Bullet 4: "If you look at the Bible verse here, here, here, bla bla bla.. etc..."

 

Hey hey stop there.

 

Putting my best diplomatic and matter-of-factly look, I told them "Actually we also have Masses on Saturday. If you think Sunday is the wrong day, then I just go to Saturday Mass lo." Case closed. No point in arguing with them, because earlier when I asked them "how you can be so sure this is the message in the Bible, that is your interpretation, etc," they would not listen.

 

Then I told them I AM IN A HURRY, I AM VERY BUSY and then I just asked them to give me a youtube link of their video and I would watch it at my own convenient time. And I pretended to be curious in what they were preaching and told them I would ask my church's PRIEST about this.

 

They looked kinda scared at the mentioning of PRIEST so I justified my intention of seeking a priest's opinion because priests are the ones with adequate knowledge about this theological matter, therefore I have to ask the expert's opinion though. *innocent face*

 

And again, I want to state that, I am not degrading their religion or their belief, it is just that the way they preached annoyed me. Unfortunately, they did not bother me only once, but TWICE. Second time was at my home, when I was in a hurry to submit my draft to my supervisor. They were knocking on my gate for a very long time. I was actually hiding in the house, thinking that it was a salesman, but when I finally gave up and opened it, there they were. That same eager but tactless preachers. They, who did not learn Psychology of attracting people to your religion yet eagerly persuading, or more accurately, enforcing people to join them.

 

Well, boys and girls, here's a little advice in preaching.

 

Preach by example, not by mouth.

 

If you're this aggressive, even when you sell me Amway (a brand that I trust and consume) I would not buy it from you.

 

Enough said.

 

 

 

 

Facing Reality

Jobs Vacancy. 

I'm sensitive to these two words nowadays. Oh, make it four.

 Part-time job vacancy. 

Initially, last semester, Matthlessa (not real name) and I vowed to find a part-time job to cover our daily expenses but here we are - still part-timeless. Erm, to be honest, I wasn't completely jobless the last semester - I did some translation work under my sister's supervisor but that was it. After that, nada. Due to the lack of motivation from myself and also the restriction from my faculty, I resorted to becoming a housewife whenever I have a free time because since the beginning of this year, my schedule is unpredictable. Seems like I have no control over my time at all. At the moment that I thought I would be free, suddenly assignments and tasks came running after me, and ironically, during the times that I thought I would be superbusy, I found myself lazing around the house - to the extent of taking a sweet long afternoon nap. 

  

 So last night, I got a call from Alvin (not real name) who is going to stay over for the semester break telling me that he got a feedback from a job he was looking for. He went to Starbucks at Komtar Area, got himself an interview on the spot, and voila,  and is now crossing fingers to get a positive feedback. After listening to his story, the desire to find a part-time job came gushing back at me and I am back putting this 'job-searching' radar on. I hope I have the motivation like him and Claire (not real name) to find a part-time job.

 However, I am not sure how my schedule would be this holiday so I think I would opt for finding a part-time job which can give me freedom to adjust the schedule or a part-time with a fixed schedule but only require me to work during the weekend. 

Ideally, I would like to work in places like a bakery especially King's Confectionery which is located at Tesco Sungai Dua because I am familiar with the cakes there. I can definitely attend to the customers' enqueries regarding the contents and flavours of the cakes mmmmmm...

My favourite cake from King's Bakery. Mango flavour with Vanilla cake. Mmmmm... Credits to Claire Marie for the photo.

 My other desire was to work at the Queensbay GSC cinema (for the sole purpose of getting free tickets and hopefully free popcorns too*winks*) but compared to the bakery, for this second desire, I have transport difficulty. Oh-ho! 

There goes my working desire.

But for now, what I need to do is to find the topic for my research, consult a supervisor, do something for another project, then after estimating how my schedule will be like, I can definitely start to activate my part-time job-hunting. And oh, I love Baskin Robbins too. If only they have vacancy during the 31st, huh? 

i beg to differ...

Do you agree or disagree with the message in the picture above? ;)

I bet most of you are familiar with the picture above. Let me guess... You've seen it from your facebook newsfeed shared by your friends or acquaintances, right? Or you might be one of them who had shared it?  Oh-ho! No offense, peeps. The first time I saw this picture, I didn't give it much thoughts. Was being oblivious to it back then. However, when I kept seeing this post on facebook, I began to spare a thought for the message in this picture. This picture is depicting that the big supermarket owners do not need your money as much as the fruit sellers on the street. How true is this notion?

It may be true in certain cases but not all. To me, this picture is spreading a generalized notion. And generalization is usually unfair. 

Back in my hometown, my neighbour is a fruit seller at the market - and he is not as pathetic as depicted on the picture above. He can afford to buy a car without government loan (unlike my parents who needed it) and his income exceeded RM3000 permonth. Yes, I am aware that he can afford to live this way because a lot of people buy from his stall. Hence, another reason that this picture is not needed - consumers need not have picture like this to tell them where they should shop for their groceries. If you sell something of quality, I do not think the consumers would prefer to buy second class quality from the supermarket with just a few ringgits or cents difference over your goods. I know I am using only one example but if you have a background check on the fruit sellers around, you might be surprised to find out the actual amount of money they earned. Oh, and don't get me wrong... I am not asking you guys to boycott the street sellers in reverse -  I am just pointing out that the message in this picture is unfair and generalized. 

"Hey, we need income too!" -->  the voices of the supermarket workers were silenced in the previous message picture.

 

Let's put it this way. If you want to boycott the big supermarket just because you want to channel your money as 'charity' to the needy as reckoned in the first picture above, you are being ignorant too because your act of charity may defeat its own purpose. Just so you know, the big supermarkets are the sources of incomes for the supermarkets' workers. These workers, I can assure you they are the neediest of all. Most of them do not own a farm, orchard, garden or even a backyard to plant the fruits and veggies like most of the fruit sellers do. They depend wholly on the supermarket to earn a living. So, just imagine... what will the future holds for them if you start boycotting the supermarket to help the street sellers? They could be sacked to save the company's budget! They will have to find a new job, or left on the streets - but without fruits and veggies to sell!

And another thing - what's up with the statement 'they spend their money on cars and trips abroad?' Sounds like an overstatement to me. Have it ever occur to you (this question is for the person who came up with the message) that the trips abroad are for business purposes, and not just merely for luxurious lifestyle? Well, I know, the rich and famous always spend a lot of money, but isn't it better that way than for them to keep that money to themselves and stop the cycle of money? Oh I know this previous statement is irrelevant to the issue at hand but.. Okay. Another question: What makes you think that these supermarket owners do not donate or contribute to any charitable organization? I do not deny the possibility of these people to spend their money unwisely, but not each and everyone of the rich businessman are like that. The thing is... I want to point out the generalized notion in the message of this first picture. The message in this picture is just too shallow for me to follow.

And most importantly, we are free to choose where our money goes. It's consumer's democracy no?

Memberku Hawa - A Malaysian Series on Feminism

 Interframe: I was supposed to find a suitable topic for my literature assignment but  my efforts were to no avail - so I ended up here *sigh*

MEMBERKU HAWA

 Kay (Nad Zainal) and Hawa (Faezah Elai)

 Anybody watched the not-so-new series on TV3 - Memberku Hawa?

I am now an avid fan of this series. This series is something that women around Malaysia can relate to - it's somewhat like a fiction version of 3R.

First time I knew about this series was through Hanis Zalikha's tweet - so I wanted to check it out just to watch Hanis on TV. I wanted to see her act so there I went, hovering in front of the TV on a Sunday night. The first episode, there was no Hanis, but I continued to watch it because I was charmed by one of the main characters - Kay - who was played by Nad Zainal - and her acting was really good! Natural! (unlike the acting of the actors and actresses in the overrated Malaysian series Vanilla Coklat *yawn*)  The dialogues were funny and witty. And there was Hawa, the other main character, played by Faezah Elai. This character reminds me of my own bestie - Hawa, and yeah, even some of the characteristics - such as independent, outgoing, and doing things as good as men resembles my bestie's attitude. ;)

And oh, not only that - there are hotties alert too! 

 Err, not this picture. This is Hawa disguising herself as a man - with the name Adam, but this picture below!

 Sharnaaz Ahmad (left) and Dazrin Kamarudin (centre) in the picture above.

Well, girls, feast your eyes on Sharnaaz Ahmad (who happens to be Shila Amzah's boyfriend in real life) and also Dazrin Kamarudin (whose status I am not sure of) - they are both the characters who appeared in Hawa's working place. Sharnaaz plays the character of Hawa's boss in this series and he's a self-made successful businessman. And Dazrin stars as Sharnaaz's best buddy here (his identity was not really clarified as he only appeared twice in the last six series).

And not to forget Hanis - the reason I started watching this series. She's really good in portraying Tish - a snobbish model whom Kay had issue with at her workplace. 

Actually I should've known from the title of this series - Memberku Hawa - that it hints the element of feminism in it. The name Hawa itself represents women, as in kaum Hawa - a Malay term which is usually used to refer to women. 

The issues faced by women in Malaysia was portrayed by a scene where Hawa, who came for her job interview as an engineer, was rejected by her boss (Sharnaaz) at first just because she's a woman and these people somewhat have some prejudice against female engineer. She had to prove herself and fight for the spot to work in the company by performing a task which was a actually challenge from her boss. And voila, of course she made it, if not Sharnaaz would not become her boss. 

Even when she was accepted in the company and already started working, Hawa faced another problem because one of her clients would not accept a female engineer to service the computer at his company. To tackle this problem, Hawa disguised herself as man (Adam, ah what a surprise she chose this name! *rolls eyes*) when going to the company.

For Kay, her problem will be with another woman (like what my lecturer said, women oppressing women) where Tish (played by Hanis) who could not let her work in peace and always find fault with her.

So if you're a feminist, you would like this story. It's a light chic-lit, something for you to laugh and somewhat think over too. 

Don't forget to watch it on TV3, 10.30 pm, every Sunday! 

Vecause it's significant...

Happy Valentine's day peeps! 

Funny but true, a simple wish like this could actually trigger different kinds of reactions from people.

 Some will be happy and wishes it back.

Some will say "We can always show our love everyday, not only on Valentine's day." 

 Some will say "I'm having a forever alone Valentine's day."

Okay peeps, these are all just general typical examples - I am not pointing fingers and if you kinda think that you fit in any of those category, well it's a coincidence really. ;) 

There are a lot more examples which I am too lazy to mention, because my focus is on the 2nd example, which is this one. 

The most typical comment.

  "We can show our love everyday, not only on Valentine's day." 

Yeah, that's absolutely true, but how I wish the people who said that actually did that. Sometimes I think they are saying it just because:

1) They are foreveralone like me.

2) They are not the romantic type.

3) They want to save on the budget.

4) They are the Grinch of Valentine.

5) All of the above

6) None of the above

Erm.. Just a curious question here: what's wrong with making Valentine's day more special than usual? Yeah, I know, you can show your love to your partner everyday, but what's wrong with being significant on a special day? 

You can show your love everyday, every single day, every second of your life to your partner, but to make today special, I do not expect you to NOT show your love to your partner on every other day. 

Show your love everyday, just make it more SIGNIFICANT today. How hard is that? 

However, I do not force you to celebrate it, but why be so sarcastic about those who's celebrating it or become a Valentine's Grinch by telling your partner "Ah, I don't want to buy you anything today because I do not believe in showing love on Valentine's day, I love you everyday not only on Valentine's." 

Hey. You said you have to show love everyday but why not today? Valentine's day is also one of the 365 or 366 days in a year so why purposely NOT showing love today? Ah. Just admit it. You're not romantic. :P

Let me ask you, we become one day older every single day, so why not we celebrate our birthday every single day? Why we only acknowledge we are older during our birthday but not on other days? I could be 23 years 11 month old but I still see myself as 23 years old and only acknowledge that I am 24 when my birthday arrives. 

Why? Simple. Because it's significant. 

Why do we celebrate Teachers' day on 16th May every year? Why we need celebrate it although we can be good student to our teacher every other day of the year? 

Why? Simple. Because it's significant. 

Why we celebrate Mother's day, Father's day on one day when we can show our love to our parents on any other day? 

Why? Simple. Because it's significant.

So, if you celebrate any of the days above but when it comes to Valentine's you give me reason like "We can show our love everyday," "Ah, no point lah" or any of these type of comments, you are a hypocrite. 

Because the real reason you're not celebrating it is something else and not because "you can always show love on any other day." *rolls eyes*

And as human, yes, we can love everyday, we can show our appreciation everyday, but most of the times we tend to take it for granted and we always need to be reminded. 

So special day like this is one way to remind us how special or significant someone is in our lives.

As humans, sometimes we always need to be reminded, so Valentine's day is a day for you to reflect back and remind yourself about those you love and you should use this opportunity to tell them how much they mean to you.  

Last but not least,

Happy Valentine's day again! ;)

Money Talk

Today I am going to talk about something which is so relevant to all of us, that is money. Money had always been an issue to us humans, whether we have too little of it, or too much of it. It's always gonna be a problem.

They say... money can't buy your happiness.

I say... 'but, money can decrease your sadness.'

They say... more money, more problem.

I say... 'no money, no life...'

They say... money is the roots of all evil.

I say... 'I agree... but many people do good deeds with money, such as donation, dana, etc.' Oprah is one very good example, don't you think so?

If you and I think carefully, actually money is not the problem. Money is just an object. When you let money control you instead of you control the money, it's from there that the problems exist. Humans, as hypocrite as we are, we blame money for everything when in actual, the greed, stinginess, insecurity and materialistic behaviour inside us which create problems out of money for us. If we put our priority well, we won't have money issues. If we put money as priority, we will easily be insecure when we run out of it. 

I hope that I can practice what I am posting now. I myself had a weird relationship with money. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it. But then I realized, money isn't the problem at all. It's the way I handle them. 

I hope I can practice what Jesus said. "Don't worry about what you eat or what you drink. Even the stray birds are fed, what more to say you as the children of God." Erm I know this is not the exact saying but the gist are there. Hehe. I am not sure too from which chapter it is taken. (-_-") 

But the thing is, don't let yourself be the slave of money, instead let money be your slave. Ok?

Wake Up Call

Interframe: I should remind myself not to order teh chi during a night outing cause I will end up becoming a zombie who can't sleep. Arggh, scratch that, that teh chi was damn nice, it's worth to stay awake for teh chi that nice! XD

Last night, which was like 4 hours ago, I just came back from an outing with my three besties. We were catching up with each others' lives. Two of them, Amanda and Stephanie, were in their final semester and will graduate this December, the other one, Peter, will graduate next year. Me? I was the only graduate there, just without my scroll yet, since my convocation is only going to happen this coming September. But I was the one least worried and without a plan for my future yet though the future is NOW. I was still in the dreamland. I didn't go looking for a job with the excuse that I am still waiting for the reply from my master application. 

There were many reasons why I wanted to continue master. One reason was that, I still could not let go my university life. Secondly, it was due to the condition given by my mother, saying that if I wanted to stay in Penang, I should not stay because of work, but because of study. Thirdly, it was because I knew deep down inside me that with my achievement now, I am still far from getting my dream job unless I could have all the requirements needed for my dream job. So those were the options given to me, and I chose to continue.

To tell the truth, I had so many ambitions till I need to have 7 lifetimes if I wanted to fulfill them all. But ambitions without efforts are meaningless. And if I didn't earn anything, I would be further away from achieving any of my ambition. (-_-") Oh my, why is life so hard and complicated, though just thinking about it.

But when my bestie Steph told me her plan to work after graduate and also invest in silver, I was amazed and kinda think; maybe I should try to invest too. I mean, in the process of chasing your dreams, you need money to survive right? So maybe I can invest in something like gold? (Since my grandma knew so much about gold hmm) Maybe should use some of my saving to buy gold and wait for a few years then sell them back? Rather than having my money being saved in a bank and waiting for that small interest distribution each year. Even trust fund like ASN is not that promising.

Maybe I should think more seriously about my future... Cause the future is NOW. 

Invest in gold? Here's a link which might give you guys tips on how to invest in gold. 

What can I earn, and what can I give back to my family and the community? 

Better stop JUST THINKING about it but START TO THINK SERIOUSLY AND PLAN ABOUT IT.

Like they say, early birds catches the worm. So I better wake up now while I can still hear the call.

KALAU AKU BOLEH LAMBUNG SYILING DESTINY...

 Interframe: Sari berita utama. SK St Mary (bekas sekolah rendah yours truly) telah keluar berita dalam The Borneo Post berikutan satu insiden. Nak tahu dengan lebih lanjut, sila klik link ini. Tak sangka kan? Huhu.

Orang kata, jangan tolak rezeki. Well... Itulah kata-kata hikmat pertama yang muncul dalam fikiranku ketika menerima panggilan dari Mama untuk memberitahuku tentang tawaran kerja untuk menjadi guru ganti selama kira-kira dua bulan. Di Sibu. Di sebuah sekolah rendah, yang mana murid-muridnya terdiri daripada lelaki semuanya. (Disclaimer: Nama sekolah dirahsiakan supaya tiada paparazzi mengekori saya sekiranya saya confirm untuk mengajar di sana kelak) 

Tapi, berkata tentang rezeki, mestikah benda yang lebih lumayan tu lebih BERrezeki? 

Biasanya dalam konteks masyarakat masa kini, ramai akan mengiyakan soalan di atas. Especially kalau rezeki tu datang dalam bentuk pekerjaan sementara. Sebab tu kerja sementara, tak minat pun tak apa. Janji lumayan. Sebab bukannya kamu akan buat kerja tu seumur hidup la kan?

Dan dalam kes aku, rezeki selalu datang tanpa diduga. Rezeki datang ketika aku belum bersedia. Rezeki datang ketika aku dah ada pelan. Masa aku belum ada pelan, macam takde satu habuk pun tawaran kerja. Tapi pabila aku dah ada sedikit perancangan, Rezeki pula sibuk nak datang nak bagi aku dilemma. 

Sengaja membuatku terpaksa membuat pilihan antara dia (rezeki) ataupun dengan keinginan hati. 

Ok, berbalik kepada cerita tadi.

Mula-mula aku dengar suara excited mama melalui handphone miniku, aku mulai bimbang. Mesti ada sesuatu ni. Ah.. Jangan pula.. Bukan itu.. Bukan itu..

Dan apabila beliau akhirnya memberitahu hal tersebut kepadaku, aku dah agak dah... Memang itu dia.

TAWARAN UNTUK MENJADI GURU GANTI LAGI.

Tiada mana-mana berita yang dapat menggembirakan Mama lebih daripada berita kekosongan untuk jawatan guru di mana-mana sekolah di Sibu. Serius tiada.

Guru ganti? Fikirku.

Di bawah merupakan subtitle perbualanku dengan Mama.

PERBUALAN PERTAMA:  

Aku: Eeeee, Ma... saya akan berada di Sibu untuk satu bulan ja. Mana dapat jadi guru ganti. Huhu.

Mama: Ai, jangan risau. Jadi guru ganti selama lebih kurang dua bulan je. Tu pun di sekolah *insert nama*. Guru besar dia bagitau kat saya ada kekosongan sebab gurunya nak bersalin. Guru besar tu sendiri yang nak awak jadi pengganti cikgu tu..

Aku: .....

Mama: Lagipun kalau guna sijil Form 6, gaji awak lumayan tau. At least RM 1000 ++. Itupun masih belum termasuk allowance lagi.

Aku: Eeeee, tapi saya dah janji dengan Mel nak jadi assistant untuk research dia kat Penang. (yesh, akhirnya dapat cari alasan muahahahha)

Mama: Takpa, nanti saya bagitau kat Mel. 

Aku: Tapi, aku tak tau la Mama. Aku lebih berminat nak kerja dengan NGO yang ada kat Penang ni.

Mama: Ala.. Dua bulan ja. Lepas dua bulan tu, bolehlah awak buat kerja awak kat Penang tu. Dua bulan awak kat sini dulu.

Aku: Erm... Bagi saya masa untuk fikir dulu ye.. Saya kena survey dulu kerja kat sini.

Mama: Ok. Tapi lebih baik confirm cepat ah. Sebab guru besar tu suruh kami isi borang permohonan jadi guru ganti untuk awak.

Aku: Okay. (-_-")

Line mati. 

Aku buntu. Mencari cara untuk membuat keputusan hidup mati ni.

Cara pertama aku memikirkan dilemma ini adalah dengan meng-update status di Facebook. (Ahem) Biasanya status ni berunsur kabur, tidak ada statement yang spesifik dan bermula dengan frasa "Dear God..."

Cara kedua, aku mengenang keadaan dulu. Fikir balik macam mana keadaannya aku menjadi guru sandaran selama 6 bulan di sekolah lamaku, St Mary dulu. Ada saat manis, ada saat pahit. Ada suka, ada duka. Ahhhh... Masih tak dapat buat keputusan.

Cara ketiga, aku fb mesej senior aku yang kerja di NGO yang aku minat tu. Mintak tolong dia untuk tanya kekosongan bagi pihakku. Kalau ada kekosongan untuk part time atau kerja sementara untuk 3 bulan, aku ON jer. Kalau tiada, aku pilih tawaran Mama. Ha, pandai tak? (sempat aku memuji diriku di dalam hati)

Cara keempat, aku bercerita dengan kawan baikku, Hawa, time pergi dinner. Di jejantas RST dan di meja makan Ismail Ikan Bakarlah tempat aku memberitahu Hawa tentang perasaan dilemma yang mengganggu jiwaku ini. Kata Hawa, bertuah saya dapat tawaran macam tu. (ini lebih kurang apa yang dikatakan oleh beliau. Hehe. Sori kalau ada unsur tokok tambah hoho) Tapi entahlah, aku tak rasa aku sesuai untuk kerja ajar-mengajar ni.

Cara kelima, call Mama balik. Tanya dia balik dengan sure apa mata pelajaran yang perlu diajar. Dan benda-benda serius yang lain.

PERBUALAN KEDUA:

Mama: Oh, ajar Matematik Tahun 1 dan Tahun 2. Pastu ajar Pendidikan Moral. (macam best ja dengar subjek-subjek tu)

Aku: Ma.. bila kena confirm? Saya confirm hari Jumaat boleh?

Mama: Ok. Tapi kenapa kena fikir?

Aku: Ala.. Sebab esok baru senior saya dapat bagitau saya sama ada NGO tu ada kekosongan ke tak.. Dan lepas esok baru saya dapat bagitau awak saya dapat mengajar ke tak.

Mama: Ok. Tapi kerja lah kat sini. Guru besar tu baik. Kalau awak reject offer ni, nanti malulah saya. 

Aku: Awak suruhla orang lain. Ada banyak orang mau kerja itu.

Mama: Ala. Dia mau awak. Sebab guru besar tu kenalan mama. (PS: Dalam mencari kerja, connection tu penting, lecturer saya pernah kata)

Aku: Ok. Tapi awak tau la, mesti saya ada masalah nak biasakan diri. Saya mesti susah nak bergaul dengan guru lain.

Mama: Jangan awak risau. Guru-guru di mission school biasanya tak sombong dan sangat friendly. (Tapi kenapa kakak sulung pula sentiasa komplen pasal cikgu yang poyo kat SMK St A******, Sarikei?)

Aku: Ha.. satu lagi. Transport tu bagaimana? Papa kan guna kereta... Dan.. Dan... Saya kan memang pengecut kalau pasal nak memandu kereta.

Mama: Ala, dekat je sekolah Sacred Heart tu. Awak guna jalan terminal Sibu gi sana, ok apa.. Papa cakap awak boleh guna kereta tu time mengajar. Papa awak kata, gaji awak sebagai guru ganti pun lebih lumayan daripada gaji colleague dia yang dah kerja berapa tahun.

Aku: (-_-") (dah habis stok alasan, so takde pilihan maka keluar statement tak boleh blah) Aku tak suka mengajar... Huwaa~

Mama: Hmm.. Dah bagus dah guru besar tu offer. Nanti apa saya nak cakap kalau awak tak nak? Dia memang dah beriya-iya nak awak jadi guru ganti tu. Mana saya berani nak tegur dia lagi lepas peristiwa ni? (lebih kurang macam ni statementnya)

Aku: Eeeee.. Awak memang selalu begini. Oklah. Oklah. Nanti saya mesej senior saya, suruh dia tak payah survey kekosongan untuk saya. Kamurang yang di Sibu sila isi borang permohonan untuk saya lah.

Mama: (seriously aku boleh DENGAR senyuman Mama) Ok. Ok. Kan. Baik awak buat kerja ni dulu. Dengar kata family.

Aku: Okay. okay. Baiklah.

Aku mesej senior aku, cancel plan nak survey kekosongan di NGO yang diminati itu.

Eh. Bila fikir balik, kenapa aku dah start worry tentang benda ni sedangkan aku belum lagi duduk periksa untuk first paper FINAL?

Haiz.. (-_-")

Aku harap aku buat keputusan yang betul.

Lambung syiling.

Kepala (otak) atau bunga (hati) ?

Kepala.

(-_-")

Yea, dan keputusan itulah yang saya ambik.

Crossroads Puzzles

  I do not want to be the slave of my job - I want to be the master of my career. 

(part 1)

words of lamehood by lameleftygirl2 (2011)

When I was still a kid, I always knew what I wanted to be. I wanted to be an artist, writer, movie director, comic book artist, etc. I had so many ambitions. Sometimes, I would have temporary ambitions such as dreaming of becoming an actress (lol this dream was due to too much of Bollywood dramas), singer (this one was inspired by American Idol ugh you should've heard me sing XD you would rather vote for William Hung), and also talk show host (inspired by Oprah lol). All of these jobs have something in common, where they are connected to creativity and imagination. I wanted to become all these simply because I like to think and imagine - I like to do something which doesn't have any limitation or restriction. That is why people around me always caught me daydreaming (-_-") I was always in my deep thought... *sigh*

  But now, in my final semester of my final year, I am clueless of  how to be what I wanted to be.  My dreams stayed with me, but to make it into a reality was still a mystery to me. Among my dream jobs, the one job which is closest to reality and is more available here in Malaysia would most probably is a writer.But even this job seemed hard to find at the moment. I mean to become a journalist, you cannot simply go for an interview and tell your potential future employer that writing is your hobby, that is why you like it so much, but instead, you have to prove it by at least having some reputation in writing - articles, blog, etc. 

  So instead of looking for a serious job after the coming graduation, I changed my plan to applying of postgraduate studies. It was by chance that Hawa told me about this Master studies application and voila, now I kinda sure that I want to continue with master degree. I even called my mama and told her about it, and she was more than happy to hear about this.  I mean, though she wanted me to go back after my final exam so much, she was happy to know that finally I wanted to choose this path as she thought that pursuing a Master degree will ensure better future. If I do not continue with Master, she preferred that I work at home than working here in Penang.

 At the moment, I am thinking of continuing with Master, but since the new semester starts  four months after the final exam, I have four months to figure it out first. Oh help me please!

To be a master of my career, I have to ensure my eligibility. Thus, I have to continue with my studies, eh? (part 2)

words of lamehood by lameleftygirl2 (2011)

Only You Know the Answer

Sometimes the easiest, simplest question, which did not require any reading would be the hardest question of all. It became THE million dollar question.

Today, during the sleepover gathering for the Catholic Undergraduate Society at FM house, I was struck by the question asked by Claire to Helen for the snake and ladder game. It was a very simple question, but only a few can answer it honestly and be truly confident to answer it, at least in my case.

The question is not about "Who's the love of your life", but it sounded like this:

"When was the happiest moment of your life?"

It was really simple and direct, but it's hard to determine when it was, either because you have too many happy moments to choose from or it was because you never had a perfect joyous moment in your life. There could be some flaws here and there which flawed your happiest moment.

In my case, honestly, so far during these past few years, I didn't experience one perfect happy moment. Why? How do I determine this?

It's because I still felt the insecurity or there's something missing whenever I am involved in a certain situation. In my own definition of happiness, it's just not about smiling or laughing, or enjoying a moment. Perhaps, enjoying a moment could carry the meaning of happy, but not THE happiest moment. As Claire had stated during the gathering, she described the happiest moment of your life as the flawless moment, there's NOTHING which could annoy or upset you at that very moment, which you could described as rainbow moment.

Though it was Helen who was required to answer the question, I was in my deep thought, trying to recall my own happiest moment. All I could think of was my childhood. During the simplest, most uncomplicated moments of my life. An ice cream could make my day. But now, it takes a lot more than that to make me feel blissful in and out. I guess as we grew older, we needed something abstract more than something concrete as it won't last forever.

When I tried to recall my adult life, I couldn't really determine when I am happy or not. There were times when I pretended to be happy just to erase my sadness, or not to worry my family and friends, and there were times when I am happy but only after a long set of worriness and fatigues. It was like I had to pay a very high price before I get to enjoy. [For example, it's like you had to pay for the roller coaster ride before you can take a ride on them.] In short, sometimes, I too became confused whether I was truly happy or pretended to be happy during certain moments because I was falling into this make-believe so-called happy moments.

On the other hand, it's easier to determine when I am sad than happy cause nobody would want to pretend to be sad but we always tried our best to look happy even though when we were not.

But as I think back, the way to make yourself happy is to just live life simply. Desiring too much and expecting too much out of lives can lead to lots of disappoinments if your desires couldn't be fulfilled.

And to determine the moment when you are really happy, it's the moment when you can't help smiling widely until you cry because you are so touched by the happiness and also because you regret that the moment won't last forever.

And I hope that everyone can find their answers to this million dollar question.

Are You Ready to Rock the New Semester?

Answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am in the process of registering the new courses now but what the crap I could not register one of the papers online *tsk tsk* which is my minor paper and as usual I am going back to USM late which is on the first day (12th July 2010) when the classes will start *wink2*. I hope I won't be fined for later registration *praying gesture*. Honestly, I am not ready for the new semester as usual but crapz, I have lots of things to plan for the new semester. Ok first, I want to watch more movies at the cinema for the next semester cause you know, watching movies at Penang are wayyyyyyyy cheaper than back at home. And the popcorns are crunchier yummay! And then I want to read more books (dream on hmmm) at the library and travel more (around Penang cause budget is a big NO) and I want to buy mp4 or mp5 yeah. So I guess a lot of budget involved here *tsk tsk*.

But of course I cannot spend much on entertainment next semester cause I have to save lot on the budget for the new semester as the convocation is approaching -my sister is graduating and I have seniors graduating and I'm gonna miss them very very much. With the seniors graduating it means about 40% of my friends will leave USM *tsk tsk* so I have to mingle with the new juniors but ugh i don't wana sound desperate.. It's ok have less but intimate friends. (consoling self)

I hope I am going to enjoy each and every moment for the new semester and I want it to pass by slowly cause I am in no rush to grow old rapidly. And I need time to pass by really slow because I need more time for self-discovery as I think I haven't really confirm what am I gonna do with my life in the future. Hmm.. It's ironic I don't want to have a narrowed future where my future career is definite but now I think having undecided future isn't that great either. *sigh*

Questions that I Need Not Answer now that Sibu is appearing on TV frequently

[Interframe: OMG, I am so addicted to Hotel City in Facebook. Anyone playing hotel city here?]


POPULAR QUESTIONS REGARDING MY HOMETOWN WHEN I AM OUT OF TOWN:

1) Do you have KFC there in Sibu?

Yes, we do have KFC in Sibu. We have McD, Pizza Hut, and Sugarbun too. But not Marrybrown. *smiling politely*

2) How do you go to Sibu? Do you have airport in Sibu or you go to Sibu by bus from Kuching?

Urm, I go to Sibu by plane. And before that I have transit at KL. By the way, (extra selamba) Sibu does have an airport, and we only go to Sibu by bus once when my father mistakenly booked a flight to Kuching instead of to Sibu.

3) Do you have shopping complex there in Sibu?

Yep. We only have shopping complexES for hanging out activity and cafes and yes, fastfood chains of course, since there's no beach or any other nature attraction in Sibu. So we have to have more shopping complex to cure our boredom. We do have Giant and Parkson but no Tesco. Oh I wish we have Tesco because the prices of groceries in Farley and Sing Kwong are damn expensive!

4) Is your house in Sibu is a brick house or wooden house? (Another way of asking either Sibu is a town or a kampung)

Oh, my house here is a terrace house, around 15 minute from town. It's a housing area, not a kampung. My kampung is at Dalat, which is also my parents' kampung, and it's been a really long time since my family and I last visited there since my grandmama is barely there. My kampung Dalat is now even developing, and it doesn't feel like kampung anymore and I don't like that, you know. Kampung should remain a kampung, and if you want to have a city or town life, just move to a city or a town, instead of turning a kampung into one. And I felt like adding "Ironically our kampung in Sibu are mostly located in town area, so the kampung are not really kampung either."


And there were a few more questions which were asked by our acquiantences and some strangers who learned that me and my sister are from Borneo which I could not remember. But there were a few too who heard the name Sibu asked us if we were Foochow and if we were rich? Lol. I mean, yeah, we're not Foochow, and we're not rich, though people may have heard that Sibu are full of filthy rich people especially the Foochow communities. Well, it's in their blood actually, to be good at business and earning money.

Though sometimes I felt it's funny for people to ask me questions regarding Sibu that way, but I could not blame them. I blame the media instead. I mean, how did the media portrayed Sarawak and Sabah? They showed the Orang Utan, the mountain, the rural area communities, and yeah, that's really good as they highlight the nature beauty of the state, but they forgot to show the developed area of Borneo. And by the way, if you want to make Sarawak and Sabah a beauty attraction, you forgot to show the hotels there! You just show the rural houses, the animals, but not the hotels? Who do you expect to attract? Only the backpackers and Amazing Race producer? Or the zoo manager?

That was why it was no surprise when an aunty who worked at Mydin who initially mistook my sister and I as Japanese, but soon when she heard we were from Sarawak, she asked us both a very amusing question.

Aunty kerja kat Mydin (bless that aunty, she was one very friendly worker):
Oooo Sarawak. Kamu masih pakai daun ka? (Translation: Do you still wear leaves as clothes?)

Me and sister could not help smiling, and almost laugh out loud.

Sister: Tidak. Sekarang tidak. Itu hanya semasa perayaan atau upacara sahaja. *insert laugh*(Translation: Nope. That was only during festival or ritual. haha)

Aunty kerja kat Mydin: Oh.. Tapi kat tv show macam tu.. (Translation: But the tv shows that way)

Me and sister: *just smiling*


Damn the media for causing the majority Malaysians to become ignorant for showing them only selected parts of Sarawak during tourist promotion. Yeah, I know we should be proud of our natural attraction in Borneo but what the heck, is showing a little development in Borneo will make Borneo less exotic? How can a family dare to travel here if they think all they can see are jungles and no place and facilities for the children to shop or play? I mean, it doesn't hurt to show some facilities available in Sarawak besides that natural attraction right?

But now showing to all Malaysians the development in Sarawak (especially Sibu) is not a problem anymore due to the election which is going on at Sibu now, and tomorrow will be the voting day. The development at Sibu will be HIGHLIGHTED at the media to show that the ruling party was doing their job in developing. Hah! Only now it does matter to show the development here in Sibu, no? Only when it involves politic and only when it gives some credits to some party. And Sibu will be the next town to become a household name because of this by-election after Permatang Pauh (which happens to be the hometown of my roommate). My roommate told me before the by-election, Permatang Pauh was unpopular. But during and after the election, voila, it was very popular. And the same case here. So I guess, after this, I do not need to face any questions that I mentioned above regarding my hometown when I am out of town since I saw the activities at Sibu were shown on TV3 and any other channels. Though I hate elections, due to the noise and environment pollution they caused, this by-election has its positive side too, which is to show my hometown as how it is, and also will save me a lot of hassles in answering some amusing questions.

By the way, I am not voting since I am not into politics and I don't even know who are the nominees. So instead of voting blindly, it is better for me to not vote at all. And I only vote in campus election because the voting camp was right beside my hostel block.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY TO ALL THE TEACHERS OUT THERE!

Sometimes, I wish I have my own reality show...

I hope there's a video camera capturing every moment of my life though my life is not very interesting..

It's because though my life isn't interesting and I don't always get invited to parties or big events, I always witness something interesting.. Something which was meaningful that could make me tear up on the spot if I lose my self control.

Question 1:

Have you ever seen a Muslim friend helping a Christian girl sticking the posters which promote the Christian club around campus late at night?

I have seen that. And that Muslim girl is my good friend, Pizal.. She insisted on helping me to stick the Catholic Undergraduate Society posters though I asked her not to.

Question 2:
Have you ever heard a Muslim friend advising her Christian friend to pray before and after eating a meal or even a simple bread or kuih?

I have heard that. And that Muslim friend is my good friend Hawa, and she always remind me to pray before and after eating according to my own religion. And I always remembered to do that ever since. Thanks girl..

Have you ever seen three strangers from different races, Malay, Indian and Chinese ended up becoming friends during a Ko-K activities?

Well, I have never seen it, but I did experienced it, because the Malay girl was Salwa, Indian girl was Hema, and I was the Chinese girl. We met while I was taking the swimming Ko-K last year. We ended up becoming friends, both of them helped to teach me how to swim as I was the slow learner. I always joked that we made "Iklan Petronas" while socializing together.


If you think One Malaysia is only a failed mission, you could be wrong because it was already possible even when One Malaysia haven't start. Actually, we did realized about the importance of unity among races long before, it was just that sometimes we didn't realize it because we just thought that we were friends so naturally - we forgot that we were actually befriending someone from different background, different races, and different beliefs, because we focused on the similarities rather than the differences. And that was the good thing about it. We look as our friends not based on their physical differences but something beyond that, which is our thinking and our stand.

So, don't try hard to pick someone who is different from you and be friends with them just to fulfill the so-called One Malaysia. Let your friendship work out naturally. Just focus on someone who has the same thinking as you, and you will be surprised that the person who has the same thinking as you usually comes from a very different background, different belief, and different practices.

And that is the foundation of a friendship that will last rather than just a semester's friendship.

KESIMPULAN: DALAM PERSAHABATAN, ANDA TAK PERLU MENGUAR-UARKAN KONSEP SATU MALAYSIA DAN MEMBUATKAN PERSAHABATAN ANDA NAMPAK PALSU.
BIARKAN PERSAHABATAN ANDA BERMULA DENGAN NATURAL, TANPA PERLU SENGAJA BERGAUL DENGAN ORANG YANG BERBEZA HANYA UNTUK 'MEREALISASIKAN' KONSEP INI KERANA AKHIRNYA ANDA AKAN SEDAR DENGAN SENDIRINYA YANG ORANG YANG BERBEZA DENGAN ANDA SEBENARNYA ADALAH LEBIH MENYERUPAI ANDA DARIPADA ORANG YANG SAMA DENGAN ANDA.

PEACE~!!

I guess, Macam-macam Aznil is still the most original show in Malaysia.

Interframe: It's just three days away from leaving Sibu and I felt weird how I wasn't that homesick of going back to my hometown but I wasn't eager to go back to the university to study either. I can already imagine the hectic life there with the activities lining up for my club and for my academic too. I felt nauseous even when I only think of it.

Now I am a little unwell due to coughing but I guess I had to recover rapidly - or else I would not be allowed to board the plane. The worst torture is that I had to eat only porridge though I felt like eating all the good stuff as this would be my last week at Sibu. What a waste. This semester, it would be my first time taking full unit (20 unit) and I hope I can cope up with all the hectic schedule.

I have a new favourite show.

And that show is Spontan.

This is a show aired on Astro Warna (which we didn't subscribe so I watched the downloaded version which I got from my sister who knew the show from our friends Step and Melody.)

This show made me laugh hysterically.

This show is hosted by Sharifah Shahira and there are at least four players in this show for every episode.

Each of the player were given the task to perform a sketch spontaneously.

I watched the show and I thought

"Wow~ Malaysia finally have its own original comedy show (besides Macam-macam Aznil) instead of using the format of the shows from other countries (e.g: Raja Lawak is the Malaysian version of Last Comic standing, etc)".

But as I watched through the Spontan series, suddenly it hit me.

This kind of show is somewhat familiar.

It does ring a bell of


jengjengjeng

"Whose Line is it anyway."


Whose Line is it anyway is originally a british show which had the US version hosted by Drew Carey. In this show, there are four players which had to do the sketch spontaneously according to the host's given situation.

So that's it. Spontan wasn't really that original either, except that it has a few innovation with the inclusion of the beatboxer Sean and a few more original games. But the format is still the same with Whose Line is it anyway.


Spontan

Vs

Whose Line Is It Anyway


But whatever it is, I still like to watch Spontan though I think it's hard to catch Din Beramboi's jokes sometimes.

So, as a conclusion, Macam-macam Aznil is still the most original comedy show in Malaysia.

Ini Bukan Post Ilmiah..

Interframe: Faktor pertama aku menulis post ini dalam bahasa Melayu disebabkan aku belajar Sains dalam BM suatu ketika dahulu, maka aku tidak tahu macam mana nak panggil 'pemboleh ubah' dalam bahasa Inggeris. Faktor kedua aku menulis dalam Bm adalah apabila mode nak mengumpat is on, aku malas nak jaga grammar aku yang hisaps, so aku tulislah dalam BM. Dan apabila bercakap tentang pemboleh ubah dimanipulasi dan dimalarkan, aku teringat pula dengan si Matth (bukan nama sebenar ) sebab term pemboleh ubah ini tercipta dalam perbualan kami berdua apabila baliknya kami dari ICG.

Ketika membuat eksperimen dalam mata pelajaran Sains dari sekolah rendah hinggalah sekolah menengah, adalah diwajibkan untuk kita mengambil kira perkara-perkara berikut terutamanya ketika membuat eksperimen perbandingan. Dua faktor utama yang dikenal pasti saling bergantungan; iaitu pemboleh ubah dimanipulasi dan pemboleh ubah dimalarkan. Biasanya, pemboleh ubah dimanipulasi hanyalah merujuk kepada satu faktor (misalnya faktor keadaan), manakala faktor-faktor yang lain adalah wajib dimalarkan. Erm, anda sudah pening? Biar saya terangkan dengan lebih lanjut menggunakan parable of the kacang hijau.

Parable of the Kacang Hijau.
Misalnya untuk menguji kepentingan air dalam percambahan kacang hijau, biasanya pemboleh ubah yang dimalarkan ialah jenis kacang hijau tersebut, iaitu kacang-kacang hijau tersebut haruslah dibeli dari satu pek yang sama. Dan tempat yang yang disediakan untuk percambahan kacang hijau adalah di atas kapas jenama yang sama. (Sesiapa yang memandai guna salah satu jenama Babysoft dan satu guna jenama X, nayalah orang itu.) Kelembapan atmosfera dan kehadiran cahaya matahari haruslah sama. Rasa-rasanya semua pemboleh ubah yang dimalarkan sudah lengkap. Dan untuk pemboleh ubah yang dimanipulasi dalam eksperimen ini adalah satu sahaja, iaitu kehadiran air. Salah satu kapasnya kering, salah satu kapasnya lembap dan basah dengan air.

Jika terdapat pemboleh ubah dimalarkan yang TERRRRubah menjadi dimanipulasi, maka eksperimen tidak berjaya atau dengan kata lain, keputusan eksperimen adalah tidak tepat.

Aku, walaupun sebagai seorang pelajar Sastera, memang bersetuju dengan kaedah saintifik membuat perbandingan. Kaedah ini lebih adil dan saksama, kerana pemboleh ubah yang lain semua dimalarkan dan hanya satu pemboleh ubah yang dimanipulasi.

Jadi, kenapa tiba-tiba aku nak bercakap pasal pemboleh ubah-pemboleh ubah yang telah disebut di atas walaupun exam aku yang akan datang hanya berkisar tentang linguistik, sastera, dan komunikasi manusia dan tak ada kena mengena langsung dengan kaedah saintifik yang telah dinyatakan? Ya, apabila musim exam menjelang, anda tidak dapat lari daripada persoalan: Apakah keputusan yang anda bakal peroleh? Dan daripada persoalan ini, lahirlah satu persoalan lain iaitu: Mengapa keputusan *insert nama* lebih baik daripada keputusan awak? (Biasanya persoalan kedua ni datang dari mulut mak ayah, lecturer, ataupun sesiapa sahaja yang suka membuat perbandingan tanpa menggunakan eksperimen secara saintifik).. So, itulah yang aku nak ketengahkan.

Perbandingan...
(Ya, setelah aku merapu berjela-jela, inilah tema kita pada hari ini!)

Itulah satu perkara sensitif yang sering dibuat kepada kita sebagai pelajar walaupun pada hakikatnya, kita tidak suka dibandingkan - melainkan kita adalah yang lebih baik dalam perbandingan tersebut.

Jadi di sini, aku nak mengetengahkan bahawa cara sesetengah orang membuat perbandingan ke atas kita, adalah langsung tidak adil. Mereka biasanya membuat perbandingan sewenang-wenangnya melalui pemerhatian kasar mereka tanpa mengambil kira prosedur yang sepatutnya - prosedur eksperimen secara saintifik.

Contoh-contoh perbandingan yang sering dibuat ke atas aku:

Contoh 1: "Eh, kenapa awak ni tak sepandai kakak awak, si *insert nama* tu?"

*Insert muka kasihan aku*

Masa tu aku macam nak jawab: "Dia dah 2 years ahead of me makan garam, of course her kepandaian is two years ahead of me lah, cis~!"


Tapi kan, on second thought, lebih tua tak semestinya lebih pandai. Tapi sepatutnya lebih pandailah. Sebab kan orang yang lebih tua ada masa lebih dah mengalami macam-macam sebelum junior mereka kan?



Contoh 2:"Eh, kenapa anak *insert nama* tu boleh dapat keputusan macam tu, awak pula dapat macam ni?" - biasanya ditanya oleh ibu bapa kita sendiri (-_-) ketika zaman sekolah rendah dan sekolah menengah dahulu.

*insert muka aku yang buat mulut muncung*

Jawapan on my mind: Mungkin sebab aku bukan anak mereka. Kalau aku anak mereka kan aku boleh dapat keputusan macam tu juga. Bwahahhaa..


Contoh 3: (Setting: Ketika majlis/kenduri/atau apa-apa aktiviti yang boleh buat orang berkumpul ramai-ramai)

Parent A: "Eh, berapa anak awak dapat untuk STPM hari tu?"
Parent B (for Baby): "Biasa je. Dapat 2A je (bukan result sebenar) [punyalah aku belajar separuh mati nak dapat keputusan macam tu, selamba je dia orang jawab ye]. Anak awak?"
Parent A: "Tak sebaik result anak awaklah. Dapat *insert result* je."
Parent B (for Baby): "Oh, takpe. Anak awak tu Science stream, anak saya ni Art stream, Science tu memang susahlah.."

*insert muka gigit bibir aku*

Rasa nak menyampuk on my mind: Science memang susah, tapi lebih senang diaorang nak masuk universiti kalau nak BANDING dengan kami orang.

"2A dalam STPM belum lagi dapat menjamin anda untuk mendapat kursus pilihan anda di universiti bagi pelajar SASTERA"- quote Cikgu Ai Fen. (I miss u Cikgu. huhu~)

Aku bukanlah nak complain sebab tak banyak orang puji aku pandai. Aku cuma nak ketengahkan isu perbandingan ini kadang-kadang memberi kesan negatif, dan tidak semestinya menaikkan perasaan competitive dalam diri kita, terutamanya apabila kita sudah melakukan yang terbaik. Dah bersusah payah kita berusaha, bukan penghargaan atau pujian yang diberi, tapi perbandingan. Dan adalah lebih menyakitkan apabila perbandingan yang dibuat adalah tidak adil, tidak berasas, dan hanya dibuat sekadar nak menaikkan nafsu amarah atau mengurangkan keyakinan kita.

Tapi sekarang, aku takkan kecil hati sangat sebab perbandingan yang orang buat terhadap aku tu tidak mempunyai pemboleh ubah yang dimalarkan. So, secara automatiknya, perbandingan tersebut tidak boleh diambil kira. Bwhahahaha..(Adakah patut, bandingkan aku dengan seseorang dari kursus lain, tahun berbeza, dan tenaga pengajarnya berbeza dengan aku? Sekurang-kurangnya semasa sekolah rendah, aku hanya dibandingkan dengan classmateku - dan itu masih belum dikira sebagai adil sebab mungkin ada yang pergi tuition.) Semuanya adalah pemboleh ubah dimanipulasi, maka eksperimen tidak berjaya! Keputusan eksperimen adalah tidak tepat, atau dengan kata lain, perbandingan yang anda buat itu adalah tidak tepat sama sekali.

Kalau nak bandingkan aku dengan seseorang, kriteria-kriteria berikut harus diambil kira:
1) Dia tinggal satu rumah dengan aku.
2) Dia sama umur dengan aku.
3) Dia belajar di sekolah yang sama dengan aku.
4) Dia diajar oleh guru yang sama dengan aku.
5) Dia belajar kursus yang sama dengan aku.
6) Dia ada aktiviti kelab yang tahap kesibukannya sama dengan aku. Tanggungjawabnya pun sama dengan aku.
7) Dia punya tahap bajet (wang saku) sama banyak dengan aku.
8) Dia berjalan ke bilik kuliah sama seperti aku.
9) Dia mencuci pakaiannya sendiri - sama seperti aku.
10) Dia mempunyai kawan-kawan yang sama dengan aku.

Itulah semua pemboleh ubah dimalarkan yang sepatutnya untuk membuat perbandingan. Pendek kata, aku hanya boleh dibandingkan dengan klonku sendiri.

Pemboleh ubah dimanipulasi:
1)Nama, personaliti dan fesyen rambut kami berbeza.


So, anda semua rasa nak buat perbandingan? Kalau nak buat perbandingan tepat, silalah ambil kira pemboleh ubah-pemboleh ubahnya terlebih dahulu. Kalau tidak, "don't bother" lah ~(ikut nasihat Shakira the Colombian singer). Peace~

Sekian, terima kasih.

Practical: To do or not to do?

The first time I heard that latihan industri a.k.a practical is optional for my course, I was very happy. Yeah, I know. For a hyperlazy person like me, this was indeed a good news. But little do I realize that practical is the thing that differentiate you from other graduates. Employers of course prefer graduates who had experience to none. Yes, I was somewhat motivated to do a practical after I had a conversation with Mel, a friend and a coursemate of mine, told me and my friend, Hawa, that she was thinking of doing a practical during the next year semester's break. Hawa was interested too, and since I think it is a good way to spend your holiday than lazing around in the house, my interest somewhat outshine my laziness, so I was thinking of "Why not?" Since we are all from the same course, well, I guess this was the best right?

But there's one thing that been bugging me. First, what kind of job should I do my practical for? With my major and minor right now, I am into something journalism, but back in my hometown, the only prominent newspaper company was the Borneo Post. But for both my friends who are living in Kuching, the job varieties will be more of course if compared to Sibu. So I was thinking, should I do my practical back in my hometown or here in Penang? I really wanted to be at my hometown for that two-months holiday! But the usual job that my mother would suggest me is to become a substitute teacher. I could imagine her saying "Oh, practical to gain work experience? Why not become a substitute teacher? You can even get salary." Yes, I know that was a good idea, and attractive one indeed, especially the salary part. With my last salary as a substitute teacher, I had purchased my own laptop and treated my family to eat at urm, heheh, the stall upstairs of Sibu Central Market, and after all that expenses, I still had balance from my salary to keep for my university expenses. With about two-months salary, which might be around RM1000++ for STPM graduate, I could buy, urm, much more new clothes and shoes? Heheh? Ya, ya, I know, not to forget of treating friends and family. But thinking it from a different perspective, if I were to apply for a journalist job in the future, would they think that the working experience as a teacher is relevant to the job that I am going to apply? Uggh~!! Thinking, thinking mode. Besides, I never wrote an article for any magazine, none, nada, even for the school magazine back in my high school. So what portfolio do I have to put in my resume?

Okay, so this blog is the only proof of the existence of my writing besides my written essays in the A4 paper. Imagine me telling the future prospective employer, "Urm, I never write an article before but you can log on to lameleftygirl2.blogspot.com to view my writing," which contains a lot of rojak language by the way. How funny and immature would that sound?

So during this semester's holiday (Christmas is coming, hohohoho~!!), I had to do a little homework, do a little discussion with my mentors --> (the professional way to refer my parents) and make a good decision on where and what practical should I do. I could already imagine Mentor Mom voting for becoming a substitute teacher as the practical while Mentor Dad may also follow suit.

I wish working at KFC and McDonald is considered as a practical, for experience in public relation service, we could call it.

Finding the Ending of A Neverending Story..

I love writing stories, I love coming up with ideas for new stories, and when I started to jot them down to become black and white, that's when my passion dies. When I think that I could not really find the appropriate words to describe the story that I am going to present, or find the best ending to a story that I started writing, I lost my patience and passion, thus burning to ashes my story goes. I started to write my story halfway through, and then I stopped; why, you may ask? The answer is because my story usually become more and more loso than it was supposed to be.

I am positive this phenomenon occurred due to my lack of vocabularies and general knowledge. My lecturer prefers a story with the touch of reality while I am someone who's too engrossed in my own Wonderland and forgot about the reality. Thus, people could not relate to my story. Mr Ahmad Sofwan (bukan nama sebenar) asked us, the students in LHP453, Creative Writing Class, to hand in our story draft next week. I came up with ideas but I could barely choose. It's because I doubt my poor writing skills could bring out the best of the ideas, thus turning the ideas into trash.

I was thinking of writing a flashback story since I always have trouble with finding the appropriate ending of a story, so since flashback started with an ending, it could probably be the best solution for my situation right now. Hmmm *thinking mode*.. Okay, maybe I try to do flashback.

There are two stories which can use flashback as a start, which I name as Story 1 and Story 2 since I haven't give a title to either of the story.

Story 1
This is a story about a successful career woman in her early thirties who was invited to attend her high school reunion. Her high school life left her with a lot of memories, sweet and bitter. When she arrived at the school hall where the reunion was held, pieces of her past haunted her back.

Story 2
This is a story about a transexual (guy turned into a woman) who went to confession in a church. He was really sorry with his action of changing his gender and he started counselling with the priest. Little did he know that the priest at the other side of the confession box was the boy whom he fell in love with during his high school years whom he mentioned in his story to the priest.

Story 1 was a more light story compared to story 2, since for story 2, I have to do research on transexual, and finding the right way to perceive something from a she-male's point of view. For story 1, though it looked easier, it was too general, so how can I write a story by just a rough idea, right?

Hmm, dilemma now. How about I write the story of myself in a dilemma right now and find the solution by sleeping? I think it is easier to find the ending of this particular story: Eg: In the end, Maureen is awake with panda eyes and blurry vision and cursing herself for being overslept.