Gosh.. I didn't realize I just posted a title without contents until I visited a friend's blog and noticed that I suddenly have an update from her blog links. And the update was (refer to the title above) without contents. Err, I don't remember clicking the 'Publish Post' button.. Guess I must had accidentally clicked it.. Huhu.. Paiseh..
Since next week I will sit for two tests, namely Phonetics and Phonology (on Monday, fyi) and Children Literature (on Thursday, huhu), two replacement classes on Tuesday and Wednesday(both two hours, -__-) and my 50% coursework assignment needed to be handed in next Friday, I guess there will be sooo little time for chores and rest. Glad that I've bought my stock last night! *wink*
About the 50% coursework asssignment which I needed to hand in next Friday, it's my Creative Writing final draft. Yeah, and my first draft got a negative remark from my lecturer. The story I wrote was about a transgender woman (Joe) who went to have her (actually his) confession with a priest. Then, Joe remembered her past, when she was still a male, a teenage boy, back in high school. There, I wrote that he had a best friend Ralph who had always protected him since he was a usual target for bully. Joe eventually fell in love with his own best friend and that's when their friendship began to break because Joe was too embarassed to meet him after his confession with him. After that, I wrote how he became a school drop-out and met a beautfiul lady who happened to be transgender woman. She influenced him to follow her step and promised to sponsor his transgender surgery only if he sign a contract with her. He signed the contract without much hesitation and after he had the operation, he, err, in this context, since he already undergone a surgery, he is officially a she physically and mentally. Little did she know that herwork as a masseur was more than meets the eye. The service was more than just massaging. There were sexual service included.
Joe felt betrayed and he soon approached her. She said that Joe had to do what he had to do because she had signed the contract. Joe was trapped in that circumstance, since she had not much option less, as a school drop-out. After accepting her reality, Joe really put in her servcie to whatever the clients wanted. Finally, she was diagnosed with AIDS. She lost her way, though she had much money that she earned from her profession. Suddenly, she remembered about her past, her belief, which reminded her of her only best friend, Ralph. She was extremely distressed, and she couldn't sleep for many nights. She needed peace, and that was what she got when she finally made her way to the church, and eventually made it into the confession box, to have her confession.
After all the stories of her past with the priest, the priest was silent. He opened the curtain and Joe was shocked to learn that he is actually Ralph. Her own best friend. She reconciled with him and at least gained what she wanted all this while, peace and forgiveness.
Looking back at this story, no wonder the lecturer doesn't like it. It's too dramatic, and so coincidental. I guess I have to change my ending. Which means, more work and more time consumption. If this was 20% coursework, I wouldn't mind that much, but this is 50% out of the of my total mark for Creative writing, so no, I would not take any chance on this one.
Err, last but not least, wish me and all the ELS students good luck in our test tomorrow. ;) Peace, yo!!
About the 50% coursework asssignment which I needed to hand in next Friday, it's my Creative Writing final draft. Yeah, and my first draft got a negative remark from my lecturer. The story I wrote was about a transgender woman (Joe) who went to have her (actually his) confession with a priest. Then, Joe remembered her past, when she was still a male, a teenage boy, back in high school. There, I wrote that he had a best friend Ralph who had always protected him since he was a usual target for bully. Joe eventually fell in love with his own best friend and that's when their friendship began to break because Joe was too embarassed to meet him after his confession with him. After that, I wrote how he became a school drop-out and met a beautfiul lady who happened to be transgender woman. She influenced him to follow her step and promised to sponsor his transgender surgery only if he sign a contract with her. He signed the contract without much hesitation and after he had the operation, he, err, in this context, since he already undergone a surgery, he is officially a she physically and mentally. Little did she know that herwork as a masseur was more than meets the eye. The service was more than just massaging. There were sexual service included.
Joe felt betrayed and he soon approached her. She said that Joe had to do what he had to do because she had signed the contract. Joe was trapped in that circumstance, since she had not much option less, as a school drop-out. After accepting her reality, Joe really put in her servcie to whatever the clients wanted. Finally, she was diagnosed with AIDS. She lost her way, though she had much money that she earned from her profession. Suddenly, she remembered about her past, her belief, which reminded her of her only best friend, Ralph. She was extremely distressed, and she couldn't sleep for many nights. She needed peace, and that was what she got when she finally made her way to the church, and eventually made it into the confession box, to have her confession.
After all the stories of her past with the priest, the priest was silent. He opened the curtain and Joe was shocked to learn that he is actually Ralph. Her own best friend. She reconciled with him and at least gained what she wanted all this while, peace and forgiveness.
Looking back at this story, no wonder the lecturer doesn't like it. It's too dramatic, and so coincidental. I guess I have to change my ending. Which means, more work and more time consumption. If this was 20% coursework, I wouldn't mind that much, but this is 50% out of the of my total mark for Creative writing, so no, I would not take any chance on this one.
Err, last but not least, wish me and all the ELS students good luck in our test tomorrow. ;) Peace, yo!!
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7 comments:
50%? oh wow. last time, our short story was only 30%. memang coincidental pun la. and dramatic. seems like a film that we can teka-teka the ending. i oso x have any idea yet as to how to tambah the story as i haven't finished reading. gonna read it after this and then comment. still useful?
hey, yg u nak last minute buat kerja apasal? that day asked u to buat cepat-cepat, you answered "x yet hantar mah.. nvrmind. still got time." padan muka.
k, finished reading ady. kinda. haha, skipped certain parts. haih... how to say leh? the creativity is there la. but the storyline is so-so. as in x twist and macam boleh teka-teka what comes next. u sinned, sth happened, u realized ur sinfulness, regret, and then ask for forgiveness. hm... for this type of story.. u need to focus more on the event that happen as to why he would change his mind. how he realized his sinfulness. the sins x so much la but enuf for intro only. regret boleh campur dengan the part where he realized. just make it short. dun loso-loso. cos u wanna make ppl ask for more. u give them just enuf to make them enjoy it and then take it back just in time to make them ask for more. dun apply ur daily losoness in the story, k?
p/s: in every story, u dun just tell the story. and u dun need to decide on every ending. there really is no ending to every story. even cinderella's happily ever after, what happened in between? we dunno rite? let the intelligent readers think abt it.
pjg eh post a mau!lu malas ku mok baca...dahla ku tok ng pmalas mbaca..huhu pdhal ku pun da bakat plah post bejular (cam bejela p ular xpjg glak)
MeL: yeah, still useful cos next Monday baru hantar.. I need to change the ending and the focus of the story.. huhu.. How bout this SUnday I go to ur place to edit my final draft? Ok or not??? huhu..
Steppu Chan:owh, mun malas baca, rajin2 tolong aku klik iklan nuffnang ya jak.. kuangx4.. ;)
oh ok honest thoughts Mau. It is a pretty good story.. um.. is it your last time short story also got transgender thingy? macam got.. but i dont really remember. lol.
btw how do you do the nuffnang ads thingy? i want to do that too but i dont know how. :(
p.s: i thought i left a comment here already but dont have le. -_- don't know what happen. maybe terdelete or something.
Hi Ada.. thanks for the compliment.. yeah, about the nuffnang thingy, you have to join nuffnang community first, then you go to the place where they provide the nuffnang ad, and then you copy paste the code and just put at the sidebar like me.. if you want to put under the banner there also can,but quite hard and it always come out funny.. :) try it out ya girl.. no, i haven't earn any from this ad.. hehehe..
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