Madness Makes My World Go Round: It's just hard to satisfy everyone when you're feeling empty inside....

Friday, March 12, 2010

It's just hard to satisfy everyone when you're feeling empty inside....

This busy-ness is making me feel empty..

I wanted to help, but I can't even help myself..

Oh, great, it just made me look more idiotic and selfish than usual..

If I can buy time with my life, I would...

Life is empty without enough time to take back and relax...

What's the use of a long life if it's just focused on getting everything done?

And worries?

Worries are sign of selfishness.

Selfish about what will happen to ME tomorrow?

Why should I worry about ME??

Worried that I might be HATED?

Worried that people might MISUNDERSTAND me?

Whatever that is, I don't wanna care anymore..

Whatever people think about me, whether I'm selfish, whether I'm weak,
whether I'm idiotic, that's not gonna matter to me anymore...

Because they should be worried about what I think about them too..

I should just worry about where I go when I die...

I know I don't deserve to go to HEAVEN...

But at least let me feel the forgiveness in purgatory...

Indeed, this season of lent is full of temptations for me..

Amen.

3 comments:

Mel said...: girl..we can't please everyone.
Sometime we try to please and care for others but we forget but our self.
I know this sem is full of obstacles for all of us..
A lot of things to be done.
Think positive plus pray to seek for guidance...
p/s: chaiyok...x.x; March 12, 2010 at 9:07 PM
Petite Amanda said...: the feelings mutual, Mau.. now that u're in uni, the main thing is to focus on getting things done.. assignments and stuff.. even when we work i believe we will still experience the same thing. it's like well, the cycle of life la. very hard to avoid. hmph..

sometimes we can't always follow what others want.. there are times when u need to listen to urself too. :); March 12, 2010 at 11:26 PM
Mad Maureen said...: Mel: Yeah, you're right girl... huhu..i felt better now.. Thanks a lot.. yeah, it's a very big obstacles for us ELSers this sem... i respect u, Kiki and Haffiz for being able to cope well with it... thanks so much and chaiyok2 to you too ya... *wink2* and xoxoxo. ;)

Ada: yeah, it's hard when we are caught in the middle.. sometimes when we follow our own inner voice, we are considered selfish.. but maybe that's the risk to take, to look bad.. Only God knows how hard it is for us to smile with a broken heart.. hehe.. thanks ya girl.. all the best to u too to cope up with your uni life.. ;) send my regards to Steph, Sally and Pamela... :D; March 13, 2010 at 7:57 PM

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10 Mad Things Thou Shalt Know About Me

1) I am a slow learner-especially in practical things. I am aware of this since I started my driving lesson when I was 18 years old. Yup, I know. I am even slow to learn that I am slow.

2) Ironically, I am fast in walking. Maybe this is to compensate my slowness in learning, so have to save time for everything else.

3) I am a mixed-blood of Chinese and Melanau. I think this is an advantage because I am bilingual since I was a small kid. But, oh well, the disadvantage is that I am not really fluent in each language, or dialect. Thus, I speak perfect Rojak language.

4) My personality is sometimes based on the circumstances I am facing. Sometimes I can be confident if I think I know more than the person I am dealing with, another time, I can be really insecure and really low in my self-esteem because others seem to be smarter than me or that I am not fluent in the language that the others are conversing in, especially Mandarin.

5) I am straight, but I am not straight-forward, especially to non-family members. It's because I tend to think that why bother to be straight-forward with someone whom might only connote your statement negatively even when you voice it out neutrally?

6) I love my family and friends though I am not always with them. Amen.

7) I have many ambitions but so little abilities. I have interest in composing music, but the problem is that I don't really know how to play the piano. I am interested in movie-directing but I don't have the courage to stand up for my opinion like what a movie director supposed to have. Therefore, I settled for journalism because I am only better voicing out my thoughts in writing more than verbally. Because...

8) I stutter sometimes.

9) I cannot eat spicy food. My sweats drop like crazy everytime I ate something spicy, and it also cause my tears to roll down my face, not because of crying but because of natural reaction.

10) I am not a snob. And I am not a show-off. I dislike people with this kind of attitude, so since I like myself, I guess I am not this type of person.

These are the top 10 mad things about me. Actually, I have more mad personalities, but you just have to discover some of it yourselves. ;)

Friday, March 12, 2010

It's just hard to satisfy everyone when you're feeling empty inside....

3 comments:

LameLeftyGirl's "Inspirational Saying" of the Week....

I always look down while walking, not because I am feeling low, just worried my new shoes get dirt.

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