Blogging as a revision...

for my LHP 453 a.k.a Creative Writing paper. Why not? My lecturer had always said that blogging is a good way to improve our writing - because we expressed the way we think through blogging. But I guess my writing is still not improving- thus the B grade I got for my 70% coursework for this paper. When it's already a 70% coursework, it means there's no hope for an A (or even A-), so no chance to follow the footsteps of my sister when she sat for this paper last semester. I need to maintain its B status or perhaps aim for B+, but if my grammar is still so poor, I guess I have a fat chance of dropping to C. Oops!

So let me do a little experiment of writing for a duration of 1 hour in a topic - let's say there are a group of five words and I need to use them to write a story.

rain, old woman, dead, baby, sobbing, dark,

Ok, let me start, and let the story begins.

I could never forget that dream, or nightmare to be more precise. This nightmare had always haunt me whenever I tried to sleep these few nights. It had been four days since the accident, and I wondered if these nightmare had anything to do with it. The nightmare, no matter how hard I tried to erase them from my mind, had a strong effect on me - the vivid images of an old woman standing in the rain staring me straight in the eyes. Those stare, it was somewhat piercing, somewhat accusing, somewhat condemning me.

I tried to drink in the image of the second class hospital room which was my home for these four days to replace the image of the old lady from my nightmare. My attempt was quite successful when he arrived.

"Hey Tia," my younger brother, Tom, who never fails to visit me every morning before school begins, greeted me.
"Good morning," I replied with a forced smile. "How's Mom?"
"Okay," he answered and quickly asked "did you sleep well?" He always tried to change the subject whenever I asked about Mom - perhaps Mom was angry with me for not taking care of myself and involved in a car accident like this. She had every right to be angry with me. And honestly though, I could not recall what happened before the accident. I wished I could because then I would make up with Mom for the mistakes and wrong deed that I had done.
"I slept well," I lied nonchalantly. I don't have to worry him with my nightmare, I thought.
"Are you sure? You looked tired, and you got eyebags - I think you don't sleep enough," he elaborated while putting his palm on mine.
"Go to school, Boy," I told him and ate a sleeping pill after he had gone.

It was raining heavily and the temperature was freezing cold. I tried to make my way at through the heavy rain - it was almost impossible to move even an inch against the strong wind. I saw a figure standing a few feet away and being desperate, I asked for help. The figure did not move.

Instead, I heard a cry of a baby from the figure. As if from a scene in a movie, suddenly lightning flashed and I could made up the figure that was standing in front of me. It was a figure of an old lady, and with her, a little baby crying continually. The cry was piercing and I could not stand it.
"STOPPPPPPPPPPP!!!" I screamed - and suddenly the baby's cry really did stop.
"YOU~!!" The old lady looked at me with piercing eyes. I was confused.
"YOU KILLED THE BABY~!" She voiced in a rage. Then she started sobbing, mourning for the dead baby.
I was speechless. I killed the baby? But... but how? And why?

Suddenly everything went dark.
"She couldn't remember what had happened," I heard my brother having a deep conversation with someone.
"Boy," I voiced up when I was wide awake.
"Ah, Tia," Tom looked awkward. I looked at the person whom he's having a conversation with - ah, a doctor.
"Hi Miss Tia, I am Dr Jacob," the doctor introduced himself without wasting much time. "I am from your therapist from now on."
I was speechless. A therapist? But why?
"You lost your memories of the night before the tragedy, I was informed," he said matter-off-factly.
I nodded.
"Why doctor, is it something serious, I mean, my condition?"
"Urm, yes, but to tell you the truth, it wasn't as serious as the tragedy itself," he replied.
"Doctor," I heard my brother trying to object something.
"Perhaps I need to let you know something about that night because I think you are living in denial, trying to forget everything about that night," he explained. "And actually, that night, you murdered your own mother and your 2 month old daughter."
His tone was dead serious I could die. How come? How.... come? I tried to swallow down what he had just said.
"No, no I didn't," I whispered to myself as the memory of that night came haunting back.
It was already dark. I just came back from work as a salesgirl in a shop, and I couldn't endure the stress anymore. I came back and saw Momo, my 2 month old baby sleeping peacefully.
She could have a bright future, I thought silently, but not with me. I wanted to give her up for adoption but Mom disagreed. Mom said she is our own blood, and she accepted her as her precious granddaughter though she came to this world illegitimately. I was so tired, I couldn't stand it anymore to worry about Momo's future,and Mom's sentiment towards Momo is not of my concern, so I tried to abduct Momo inside the car. Perhaps I can give her up for adoption since Mom was nowhere in sight. It was something so spontaneous, yes, I always do this kind of thing, thus the pregnancy.

Suddenly, Momo was awake, and she looked at me. I tried to signal her to keep quiet, but as a 2 month old toddler, Momo had no idea so she cried instead.

"Momo!!" I heard Mom's panic voice calling. Ah, that sensitive old lady! I started the engine and Mom saw me.
"What do you think of doing?" She looked at me as if I were crazy.
"Doing what I was supposed to do 2 months ago," I said and trying to reverse my car.
"You, you Tia!! Stop! DON"T YOU DARE!"
But I was headstrong. Mom tried to stop me through the open window but I just stubbornly reversed the car slowly.
"OVER MY DEAD BODY, TIA, BEFORE YOU CAN GIVE HER TO ANYBODY," She said and that was when the accident happened. While struggling to break free my stereng from Mom's grasp through the window, I stepped on the accelerator instead, and it moved the car forward until Mom was..
Oh, my goodness! I knocked Mom down until her body was smashed against the wall of the house. And Momo, Momo fell from the seat and her fragile head was bruised and she was unconscious. It was happening so fast! Panickly, I reached for Momo and to my horror, she was dead. They were all dead. Did I just caused their deaths? Did I just murdered them?

"Doctor, I am ready to tell you everything now," I said with tears on my eyes, looking from the doctor to Tom. How I wish this was just a nightmare that I could escape.


PS: I know there are a lot grammatical errors in this story, and the weaknesses in this storyline. Feel free to correct or critic them. Thank you. ;)