Today I feel like throwing everything away~

Cause it could be liberating! Especially today - to signify the first time in the semester where I feel that I am not tied up by assignments - albeit there's one more assignment to go - which will due on 5th June but let's just ignore it for now.

But I just can't. Throwing things is not in my nature. Even deleting old messages or e-mail needed a long contemplating from me. Yeah call me weird. On second thought, no, please don't call me weird. This is just me for being a hoarder. Or a compulsive one - I might add.

I do not know how many notifications or messages are spamming my yahoo inbox right now but the good thing is that they kept my e-mail active. Right now I am deleting some songs from my Blackberry to make space for new songs that I just downloaded yesterday. It's an improvement, I know. I even initiated to delete some of the old pictures from it - especially some random photos that I took just to post them up in Twitter - which was also the reason why I dared to delete them cause I know I can always have them back in Twitter account *winks*.

But really - I wonder how many people out there have the same issue like I do - reluctance to throw their things away. I guess I made a mistake of putting sentimental value on almost everything I own. Like, if I buy a red pen, instead of being just a red pen, I described it as 'first red pen that I bought for the semester in Tesco'. I gave my things identity - which made them harder to let go. Sad and freakish right? I even kept my receipts instead of throwing them away with the 'good reason' of using them to calculate my weekly spending - which I barely do - thanks to the accumulating assignments that I had.

But today - I just want to try throwing some things away. My things. Any useless thing which used to be important to me. Just to have that feeling of letting go. And to give space to new things that I may need and more practical for my life right now.

The question is, which thing is it?

Hoarder in dilemma,

yours truly.

Reluctant

Unlike previous holidays where I was always ready to fly to Penang, 

I am not ready this time.

Reluctant to leave here.

Not because I had a very interesting holiday. 

It was because time flies so fast that things that I planned in my list had not been completed yet. 

And days are passing by. Maybe they are not just passing by, they are flying. Flying by real fast.

When can I have this same moment with these same people to be around again the next time? 

Reluctant.

And yes, I haven't finish my packing.

*growls*

Vecause it's significant...

Happy Valentine's day peeps! 

Funny but true, a simple wish like this could actually trigger different kinds of reactions from people.

 Some will be happy and wishes it back.

Some will say "We can always show our love everyday, not only on Valentine's day." 

 Some will say "I'm having a forever alone Valentine's day."

Okay peeps, these are all just general typical examples - I am not pointing fingers and if you kinda think that you fit in any of those category, well it's a coincidence really. ;) 

There are a lot more examples which I am too lazy to mention, because my focus is on the 2nd example, which is this one. 

The most typical comment.

  "We can show our love everyday, not only on Valentine's day." 

Yeah, that's absolutely true, but how I wish the people who said that actually did that. Sometimes I think they are saying it just because:

1) They are foreveralone like me.

2) They are not the romantic type.

3) They want to save on the budget.

4) They are the Grinch of Valentine.

5) All of the above

6) None of the above

Erm.. Just a curious question here: what's wrong with making Valentine's day more special than usual? Yeah, I know, you can show your love to your partner everyday, but what's wrong with being significant on a special day? 

You can show your love everyday, every single day, every second of your life to your partner, but to make today special, I do not expect you to NOT show your love to your partner on every other day. 

Show your love everyday, just make it more SIGNIFICANT today. How hard is that? 

However, I do not force you to celebrate it, but why be so sarcastic about those who's celebrating it or become a Valentine's Grinch by telling your partner "Ah, I don't want to buy you anything today because I do not believe in showing love on Valentine's day, I love you everyday not only on Valentine's." 

Hey. You said you have to show love everyday but why not today? Valentine's day is also one of the 365 or 366 days in a year so why purposely NOT showing love today? Ah. Just admit it. You're not romantic. :P

Let me ask you, we become one day older every single day, so why not we celebrate our birthday every single day? Why we only acknowledge we are older during our birthday but not on other days? I could be 23 years 11 month old but I still see myself as 23 years old and only acknowledge that I am 24 when my birthday arrives. 

Why? Simple. Because it's significant. 

Why do we celebrate Teachers' day on 16th May every year? Why we need celebrate it although we can be good student to our teacher every other day of the year? 

Why? Simple. Because it's significant. 

Why we celebrate Mother's day, Father's day on one day when we can show our love to our parents on any other day? 

Why? Simple. Because it's significant.

So, if you celebrate any of the days above but when it comes to Valentine's you give me reason like "We can show our love everyday," "Ah, no point lah" or any of these type of comments, you are a hypocrite. 

Because the real reason you're not celebrating it is something else and not because "you can always show love on any other day." *rolls eyes*

And as human, yes, we can love everyday, we can show our appreciation everyday, but most of the times we tend to take it for granted and we always need to be reminded. 

So special day like this is one way to remind us how special or significant someone is in our lives.

As humans, sometimes we always need to be reminded, so Valentine's day is a day for you to reflect back and remind yourself about those you love and you should use this opportunity to tell them how much they mean to you.  

Last but not least,

Happy Valentine's day again! ;)

Remind Yourself of the Happiness to Forget the Sorrow

Tonight, 

out of the blue,

I discovered videos that Claire had taken using Mr Panasonic,

and as I watched it, 

I felt the fun aura at FM house.

I wanted to watch a funny video.

Tango video. :P

Watched it, laughed, and then clicked on another video.

Then suddenly,

I watched videos of HER.

And guess what.

I didn't expect it but...

That previous senior, sisterly love came back.

Just like that.

Funny.

How many days I spent complaining about what she had done.
Even today...

And yet, the power of the video...
Just like that...

I saw the video of her serenading us with Christmas song.

I wanted to be angry, but the anger...

The fire of anger kinda blown off.

Hard, yet

Easy.

Forgiven? 

Sisters forgive one another,

but still, they advise one another.

In order to make that clear,

I,

Maureen,

hereby will remove my complaint post about her,

so I would not be reminded of it anymore.

Forgive.

But never forget to advise. 

Oh yeah, when is that again? Next sem? :P

Make It Happen~

For this year, as I grow older, these are the lists of what I want to make sure it happens this year...

Physically, I want...

1) To trim my eyebrow, so it won't be as thick as now. (But thick eyebrows are good to make me look stern, don't they?)

2) To update my closet more often. (which means, more shopping to be done woo hoo~!)

3) To accessorize more.(which also means more shopping)

Mentally, I want...

1) To read at least 10 fiction books by the end of this year to improve my English. (Kacang kan? :P)

2) To be more fluent in native languages like Melanau (from different dialects), Kenyah, and also Iban.

3) More stern, more courageous, and stand up for myself and my loved ones. That includes confidence. (Amen...)

Spiritually, I want...

1) To be more forgiving. (erm, did I type wrongly here? :P)

2) To be more attentive in Mass. ( FYI, it took me 3 Masses to attend in one weekend for me to finally get the Gospel huhuh...)

3) To read Bible more often... (Amen)


So, this is it. I hope I can make them all come true, each and everyday from this day onwards.