Impression and Intimidation

First day of class could mean two things.

First impression and intimidation.

I guess most of us would try hard to give the best impression on the first day of class so that we would not suffer for the rest of the semester. We would want to fit in, and be labeled as the ones with good adjectives and characteristics, such as the outspoken one, the smart one, the thinker and a few more positive roles. Most of these labels are used to camouflage our insecurity and our intimidation.

Many would try to get the lecturer's attention, but only a few would succeed. 

 

Although I had gone through many first days in my of my life, such as first day in kindy, first day of school, first day of work, first day of *insert whatever I forgot to include*, I still suck at giving a good first impression. The awkwardness due to my role as a klutz or the blur one, has never left me. I usually only get noticed on the later classes . And usually, that attention came when I least expected it.

I remember one lecturer, she was teaching literature, and she never really noticed me because a friend and I who attended her class were the quiet ones. We never speak out; we only answer when prompted, and more often than not, our answers were not really impressive. But that all ended after our test paper was given back to us. Before getting back my test paper, me and a few course mates discussed our answer, and I was dismayed when I found out that my answer were different from theirs. Gosh. I was expecting a failed paper.

All of a sudden, I heard the lecturer calling my name and asked "Who's Maureen Chua?"

I was dumbfounded. Why did she call my name?

"She has a very good answer for this question."

(She didn't exactly said it this way but the gist were there.)

God, you know how that compliment put a smile on my face whenever I recall this incident.She even asked my permission to lend my answer sheet to my other classmates, which of course I agreed to because I never really expect that I would keep this paper safely like now.

From this moment onwards, this lecturer never forgets me. I didn't realize those answers that I jotted down hesitantly could get me a recognition from a lecturer. Ironic.

Sheesh... Apparently, I am  too carried away cause I am not sure what was the connection between my first paragraph with my later paragraphs at this post but I guess, I just wanted to tell that first impression is somewhat overrated. In my opinion, first impression could help you only if you maintained it, but if you can never keep up with the personality or role that you are trying to portray yourself with during the first day, then it is better not to give any impression at all. Even if you did not score well in giving a good first impression, you can still have the chance to compensate that first impression with 2nd impression, or even the 3rd one.

The feeling of intimidation, on the other hand, if it gets the best of you, then you will never get to let your real self shine. If you turn that intimidated feeling and manipulate it, it somewhat can become a motivation.

Oh shit, what am I crapping, I need to get my book right now and get rid of this intimidation.