The After-Effect

I can finally say...

 

I am free!!!

 

Yeay?

 

After all the troubles I went through this afternoon at the printing shop, spending more than 2 hours correcting the margin on the soft-copy version of my thesis.

 

It was four when I submitted my thesis at the Humanity's office, getting a look of disapproval from the receptionist.

 

"What, still got 30 minutes leh," I argued in my mind.

 

But that was over.

 

Now I felt somewhat... liberated? Not really.

 

Ironically, I felt like there was something holding me back, something pulling me from embracing this newfound freedom that I have.

 

No, it is not the coming Viva. It was the thesis itself who spoke to me

 

"You did not put in your best when working on me~!"

 

Yeah, thesis, indeed I did not.

 

Reading back my thesis, grammatical-wise, it was readable, thanks to my eagle-eyed proofreader sister, but the contents itself, I felt like it was lack of something.

 

Citations, arguments, etc.

 

(for juniors, always remember to argue why, why, why, you are doing what you are doing, and include support from citations and reliable sources okay, and DO NOT DO it at the LAST MINUTE~)

 

Only at the 11th hour I was putting in 101%.

 

Before that, as usual, I was in my own dreamland, frozen time machine where I kept thinking there would still be enough time to proceed on with what I delayed.

 

But no, time was never enough.

 

But it was not time which was my enemy. Time I had plenty.

 

It was the inspirations, that I was lack of when I still had plenty of time. And they only came out from their hiding places at the last minute. 

 

 

So yeah. The after-effect of this thesis submission is, I am still unrest.

Not at peace with myself. Not forgiving myself for not doing my best.

 

Let's just hope this lesson will enforce me to be more productive in the future.

 

Amen?