I will have an important test tomorrow, but because I need to have peace with my mind, I had to spill out what had been bothering me today. Huh~
On my way to my 3 pm class today, while I was trying to cross the road, I saw a guy on a wheelchair, using both his hands forcefully to push forward his wheelchair at the side of the road. His wheelchair was not the automatic one, but it was the manual one, where you have to use your hands energy to push it forward. I just looked at him, wondering whether I should help him or not. When he finally passed by me, I didn't help me, instead I smiled at him.
He didn't smile back. Perhaps it was because he didn't know me or he was too tired to smile. After I managed to cross the road, I regretted for not helping him. I mean, probably he needed my help, and obviously a smile didn't help. I kept thinking about what if I came late to class? Hmm.. I should be more practical next time, instead of becoming a hypocrite. What's the use of regretting and being sad for not helping someone when I had the chance? He had been pushing his own wheelchair from God knows where, the Aman hostel or another hostel further down.
On my way to the class, everything was blurry, I didn't notice anybody, even a junior of mine, aka my CUS granddaughter, Lia, when she called me. (psst, sorry Lia, I was in a deep thought just now huhu and God knows how many person I had ignored on the way to class) I managed to reply a brief smile. I kept thinking about what I could have done to make a small difference, and I blew it away.
That's not the only dilemma I have for today. In the evening during a dinner with my friends Lee Ying and Kim Hong, I heard the news of the death of my friend's mother. I was shocked. I mean, I just mentioned my friend's name out of nowhere and BAM, I heard a bad news about her mother. I didn't dare to send her a condolence message just yet before I really confirm the news. It was really frustrating. She was probably in a deep sorrow now. And I couldn't do anything about it.
But everything happens for a reason. Haiz. I have yet to find the reason. I wish I could do something about it than just to sit there and contemplate all these things theoretically. And to wheelchair guy, wherever you are, have a safe journey around USM. If we were to meet again, I won't just smile and walk away, but I will try to approach you and to offer a help, provided you need it. And to my dear friend, if only you read this, I want to let you know that we at CUS here care for you. Be strong ya girl.
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