Thursday, July 30, 2009

Finally I finished my story...

So my creative writing lecturer was giving us a task to write a fictional story. He asked us to generate our ideas from the word dress. He asked us to list down all the things connected with a dress in a mind-mapping manner. I listed out hand-me-down, girl, black dress, tailor-made, party, and expensive brand.

Then, I picked out girl, hand-me-down, and black dress from the list. I was in a mission to create a story. And the idea for the story turns out to be like this. [PS: I am using the first person point of view to write this story, but for the synopsis, I write it in this manner.]

By the way, I name this story as "Measure of a Success."

It is a story of a girl who was the youngest among three sisters. She never really owned her own dress as a child, and she always wore the hand-me-down dresses. She was envious of her classmates who got to wear brand new expensive dresses to school everyday. Her parents, on the other hand, could not afford to buy her a new dress as they came from a poor family. She wore her sisters' hand-me-down dresses and she was quite annoyed because they usually ran out of style once it was her turn to wear them. So, she had an idea to decorate her old dresses with flowers from her backyard or beads from her mother's bead collections. She showed up at school with her re-designed hand-me-down dresses and it was a hit. The next day, the other girls followed suit. She was proud, because by the tender age of six, she was already a trend-setter.

Everyone was impressed by her passion in redesigning her own clothes, except for her mother. Apparently, her mother disapproved of her hobby in clothes-designing. Her mother commented that she ruined the dress by making them looked funny, and that she should just focus on her studies or mix around with the other kids, instead of sitting indoor, designing clothes. Her mother wanted her to be the same like the other children, yet outstanding, like being smart in studies and sports. So, to please her mother, she gave up her hobbies in designing clothes and occupied herself with studies and school stuff. She became straight-A students, from primary school till secondary, just like her sisters, but she felt that she was losing her essence, her one true self. She was good at studies, but studies wasn't her niche.

One day, while babysitting for her neighbour's kids, she ran across an advertisement for a clothes-designing contest. The theme for the contest was "Dare to be Different". The advertisement stimulated her yearning in designing clothes, but there was a catch. The registration fee for the contest was RM50. It was a big amount for her as she came from a poor family. But the prize money was attractive, RM 10 000. She was determined to join this contest, and she went back home to fork out some money from her saving. She only had RM50.

At the same time, her mother asked for RM45 from her to buy a text book for her sister. Her sister needed the text book for her experiment the next week, so she urgently needed to buy it. She was torn. There was no way she is going to give up on her passion for the second time. She walked silently to the store room, took out some old dresses from the plastic and she saw a beautiful black dress. She tore the long skirt to a certain length, added some feathers and shiny black beads and voila, it transformed into a trendy, modern classic black dress. She saw the result and was satisfied with it. After drinking in the look of the dress, she finally made her decision.

She gave her RM50 saving to her mother.

A week later, she felt quite anxious because it was the competition day. She felt the anxiety though she wasn't one of the contestants because she couldn't let go of the thoughts of "What if I had registered for this competition?" from her mind. Her intuition led her to the store room to change into the black dress. She wanted to attend the competition in the black dress to express herself, and to mourn for her opportunity being gone. By the time she arrived at the competition venue, she saw all of the finalists for the contest standing in a line, waiting for the verdict to be announced by the judges. She looked at all of the finalists, realizing it could be her standing there. Tears stung in her eyes. Maybe her passion and ambition to be a fashion designer would not come true and remained just a dream, she thought sorrowfully. She could not control her emotions, and she sobbed, loudly enough for the other audience to stare at her strangely. But she could care less about their impression towards her. Even the judges seated at the front noticed her. The judges were whispering something among themselves, she was embarrassed and walked out of the building to the stairs. There, she sobbed her heart out.

Out of the blue, she saw a masculine hand handing her a handkerchief. She looked up and saw a familiar face. It was Sheeko, the famous fashion designer in Malaysia. He introduced himself as one of the judges and he told her he was intrigued by her sudden appearance among the crowd. He asked if she made the dress herself. She told him redesigned an old dress and he seemed impressed. He apologized that he could not put her into the competition due to the rules and regulations, but he said he would like her to join his team of designers, as one of his protegees. He said that she was what this competition was all about, being "Dare to be Different". She could not believe her ears. Even the cheers from inside the building as the winner was announced could excite her no more.

Her family was speechless when she blurted out the news to them. Her mother was amazed by her determination as she'd always gave in to her before. Teary eyes, her mother looked at her and apologized for not accepting her hobby which turned out to be her ambition and her dream. She told her that she realized that brain and intelligence is not the only measure of a success, but being happy with what you do is the real measurement of success.

Up till today, she still keep her black dress in her boutique, exhibited for all to see. The black dress would always be a reminder and a symbol to her that your passion is the real measure of your success.

PS: I know this story is not a masterpiece, but I still want to put a sign of "DO NOT PLAGIARIZE" and Maureen's copyright.

Monday, July 27, 2009

If I have an eraser..


I would like to erase all the wrong deeds that I done, all my mistakes that I have done without thinking much, and all the bad decisions that I had made...


If I have a remote control,

I would rewind all the happenings back again, and redo everything so that they become better than now.

Well, in reality, I have nothing. Nothing to change all this situation to get back to normal.

But there's a prayer, a hope for a miracle, a hope for a better outcome from every mistake that I've done.

For the things that had gone wrong, I wish they are back to normal. For the things that had been right and improved, I wish they stay the same, good and improved.

I couldn't erase the past happenings, but I can plan for tomorrow's event.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

In Loving Memory..


Bad news were everywhere...

But I never thought it could be this worse...

Yasmin Ahmad, the best director in Malaysia (I can declare this without much doubt) passed away about 11.25 pm
Saturday night, 25th July 2009.

It was shocking and sad.

I knew the news from my friend's shout out in facebook.

I had dreams to become a movie director, and she was kind of my role model for daring to be different, and I planned maybe I could meet h
er one day, to ask her about what thing that made her so motivated to bring out her ideas and make them significant.

This plan remains a fantasy..

Her passing away reminds me of Michael Jackson's death just about a month ago, on 25th June.


He was born the same year as Yasmin Ahmad too.. on the year 1958.

They passed away with an unfinished plan. Or specifically, in the middle of fulfilling the plan for their latest project.

Michael: His concert tour.

Yasmin Ahmad: Her commercial project. And many of her future movie plans.


They were sad, shocking deaths...

Great people just passed away during their moment of glory..

I wondered what will happen to those they left behind.

Michael, his children.

Yasmin Ahmad, her husband and an adorable daughter.

I can't even think about it..


I lit up a virtual candle for your memory here in my heart.


May you both rest in peace, Amen.



Thursday, July 23, 2009

A Sigh of Relief!

Today, my club's booth is closing. The feedback from the juniors were awesome. It was an increase in number for this year's participants. I just hope that the membership is not just in the form of names but in the forms of participation and then commitment. Last year when I was a junior, I was introduced to Catholic Undergraduate Society (CUS) by my own sister, Melissa. Then I began to join in some of the activities.

Last year, I was the one at the other side of the booth, then this year, I would be the one telling them information about this club, the activities, and what I myself didn't know last year. There's just a nervous feeling inside of me, just like the people at the other side of the booth because there's a slight of insecurities where I was not sure if I can answer each of the question matter-of-factly. Thank God finally it's over, and it was quite a fun experience though tiring. There were problems during the process of opening the booth, but thank God everything is okay now. There's just some worries in the future. It's the upcoming PCC Concert, and I hope I will be able to sell off the tickets. So far, I just sold them to three persons. One was a Singaporean lady who bought the ticket not for herself, but she asked the former president of my club to give the ticket that she bought to those who cannot afford to attend the concert. What a kind lady.

I hope the feedback to the PCC concert will be as good as the feedback for CUS club recruitment or even better. This I hope, and pray. ;)


Friday, July 17, 2009

I'm Sorry Sis Melissa........

Dear Mel,

I am sorry for complaining about you behind your back in front of Stephanie during the taklimat I attended. I complained that you forced me to eat at your place though I told you I would have my lunch provided while attending the USM brand taklimat. I was quite unsatisfied that time, for I was selfish. I only think about how tired I was going to be to walk to your place, even after I had my lunch at DUP. When I finally reached your house, and was treated well by you and your housemates, I just realized that a meal at your place there was priceless compared to the meal experience I had elsewhere, though the one I had at DUP was a free meal. The meal at your home was better, because first of all, the food reminds me of home, and the atmosphere reminds me of family, and it brought out the sense of belongingness. I will never again reject any offer to have meal at your place, unless I am really busy that time. That is, if you still think inviting me to have meal at your place is still worth considering.

Then today, about the selling-tickets thingy, I am sorry if I hurt your feelings when I seemed to be forcing you to help me sell the concert tickets in front of the church, and hurt your feelings saying you should help me since you would not be helping at the booth the coming weekdays, when you were the one who helped me do the decoration on the manila cards for the booth. Yes, I realized I am an idiot sometimes for speaking insensitively, since I should know that words, the verbal abuse, can be more hurting than physical abuse. I am really sorry, sister, for being such a loser sister.

Talking about insensitive, I think I should take care of my manners more. I cut the queue while waiting to get the food during the taklimat break. Thank God there were Melissa and her PERKASA friends who gently let us cut their queue.. Sorry, girls!! I should've known better, not to do this embarassing stuff to you guys. I am such a humiliation my club. Huhu~! Such insensitive of me. AH ya, talking about your name pulak, yesterday, I met three Melissa's, including you in a day. I could've meet four Melissa's yesterday if only Mellisa Reeve join us for Bon Odori. Hehe.. Too bad she didn't join. During the morning, I met Melissa (pharmacy student, from Taekwondo club) who was a very nice senior. She was all smiley, and she reminds me of our cousin, Sharon. She still remembers me, and I was glad and touched. I mean, I am used to being a forgettable character for being quiet person during certain gatherings and meetings. I must at least meant something, if people remembers my face.

Then, during the taklimat break, there's another Melissa (PERKASA club, my friend/coursemate) whom I met during the breakfast moment. She was very friendly, and she reminds me of cousin Alysia She's just so sporting and happy-go-lucky like Alysia. There's never a place I could see Mel without cheering people around her. I realized that I am seeing our family in forms of my friends. How lucky could I be? And there was you, Melissa too, hehe, and you of course is yourself, my sister. Whom I always complained about, but at the end of the day, I know that without you, I won't survive my days in university. I am really sorry sis for taking you for granted sometimes. During the Bon Odori, sorry I could not spend time and take photos with you guys like I planned to.. Did you guys take photos without me? If yes, please photoshop my face inside. If no, not needlah.. Hehe..

I am sorry for not making your lives any easier. For those my friends out there too, if I ever hurt you guys and if you are reading this, I never meant to hurt you guys. Never!! Believe me. If there's anything I could do to erase all that hurts caused by me to those of you out there, curse me, hit me, hurt me back, do anything to me, mock me, (I will lose my dignity for saying these all, but I don't care anymore) but please, pretty please, forgive me.. And don't ever end this friendship and this sistership we have..... Amen......


Your sorry sister, (and I am sorry too you have a sister like me),
Maureen. (don't want to put family name cause later buat malu mak bapak.. huhu!)