A Change of Story

It's official. I am going to write about a dilemma at a wedding instead of dilemma of a transexual, since I could not think of a good ending for the Confessions of a Transgender which I was drafting all along. I felt like it was a sign, as when I was reading Kenny Sia's blog, he included a website about wedding by Stephanie Chai at his small talk section. Well, I haven't really got the hint that time, but when I took a look at my folder where I kept all my ideas for creative writing, there was a story plot about dilemma at the wedding was included.

I am glad I could still keep the same setting, which was at the church. I don't know why but I like a story which is using the church as a setting. Oops, gotta go now and write my new story. Chao~!!!

Next Week's Madness!!

Gosh.. I didn't realize I just posted a title without contents until I visited a friend's blog and noticed that I suddenly have an update from her blog links. And the update was (refer to the title above) without contents. Err, I don't remember clicking the 'Publish Post' button.. Guess I must had accidentally clicked it.. Huhu.. Paiseh..

Since next week I will sit for two tests, namely Phonetics and Phonology (on Monday, fyi) and Children Literature (on Thursday, huhu), two replacement classes on Tuesday and Wednesday(both two hours, -__-) and my 50% coursework assignment needed to be handed in next Friday, I guess there will be sooo little time for chores and rest. Glad that I've bought my stock last night! *wink*

About the 50% coursework asssignment which I needed to hand in next Friday, it's my Creative Writing final draft. Yeah, and my first draft got a negative remark from my lecturer. The story I wrote was about a transgender woman (Joe) who went to have her (actually his) confession with a priest. Then, Joe remembered her past, when she was still a male, a teenage boy, back in high school. There, I wrote that he had a best friend Ralph who had always protected him since he was a usual target for bully. Joe eventually fell in love with his own best friend and that's when their friendship began to break because Joe was too embarassed to meet him after his confession with him. After that, I wrote how he became a school drop-out and met a beautfiul lady who happened to be transgender woman. She influenced him to follow her step and promised to sponsor his transgender surgery only if he sign a contract with her. He signed the contract without much hesitation and after he had the operation, he, err, in this context, since he already undergone a surgery, he is officially a she physically and mentally. Little did she know that herwork as a masseur was more than meets the eye. The service was more than just massaging. There were sexual service included.

Joe felt betrayed and he soon approached her. She said that Joe had to do what he had to do because she had signed the contract. Joe was trapped in that circumstance, since she had not much option less, as a school drop-out. After accepting her reality, Joe really put in her servcie to whatever the clients wanted. Finally, she was diagnosed with AIDS. She lost her way, though she had much money that she earned from her profession. Suddenly, she remembered about her past, her belief, which reminded her of her only best friend, Ralph. She was extremely distressed, and she couldn't sleep for many nights. She needed peace, and that was what she got when she finally made her way to the church, and eventually made it into the confession box, to have her confession.

After all the stories of her past with the priest, the priest was silent. He opened the curtain and Joe was shocked to learn that he is actually Ralph. Her own best friend. She reconciled with him and at least gained what she wanted all this while, peace and forgiveness.

Looking back at this story, no wonder the lecturer doesn't like it. It's too dramatic, and so coincidental. I guess I have to change my ending. Which means, more work and more time consumption. If this was 20% coursework, I wouldn't mind that much, but this is 50% out of the of my total mark for Creative writing, so no, I would not take any chance on this one.

Err, last but not least, wish me and all the ELS students good luck in our test tomorrow. ;) Peace, yo!!

Practical: To do or not to do?

The first time I heard that latihan industri a.k.a practical is optional for my course, I was very happy. Yeah, I know. For a hyperlazy person like me, this was indeed a good news. But little do I realize that practical is the thing that differentiate you from other graduates. Employers of course prefer graduates who had experience to none. Yes, I was somewhat motivated to do a practical after I had a conversation with Mel, a friend and a coursemate of mine, told me and my friend, Hawa, that she was thinking of doing a practical during the next year semester's break. Hawa was interested too, and since I think it is a good way to spend your holiday than lazing around in the house, my interest somewhat outshine my laziness, so I was thinking of "Why not?" Since we are all from the same course, well, I guess this was the best right?

But there's one thing that been bugging me. First, what kind of job should I do my practical for? With my major and minor right now, I am into something journalism, but back in my hometown, the only prominent newspaper company was the Borneo Post. But for both my friends who are living in Kuching, the job varieties will be more of course if compared to Sibu. So I was thinking, should I do my practical back in my hometown or here in Penang? I really wanted to be at my hometown for that two-months holiday! But the usual job that my mother would suggest me is to become a substitute teacher. I could imagine her saying "Oh, practical to gain work experience? Why not become a substitute teacher? You can even get salary." Yes, I know that was a good idea, and attractive one indeed, especially the salary part. With my last salary as a substitute teacher, I had purchased my own laptop and treated my family to eat at urm, heheh, the stall upstairs of Sibu Central Market, and after all that expenses, I still had balance from my salary to keep for my university expenses. With about two-months salary, which might be around RM1000++ for STPM graduate, I could buy, urm, much more new clothes and shoes? Heheh? Ya, ya, I know, not to forget of treating friends and family. But thinking it from a different perspective, if I were to apply for a journalist job in the future, would they think that the working experience as a teacher is relevant to the job that I am going to apply? Uggh~!! Thinking, thinking mode. Besides, I never wrote an article for any magazine, none, nada, even for the school magazine back in my high school. So what portfolio do I have to put in my resume?

Okay, so this blog is the only proof of the existence of my writing besides my written essays in the A4 paper. Imagine me telling the future prospective employer, "Urm, I never write an article before but you can log on to lameleftygirl2.blogspot.com to view my writing," which contains a lot of rojak language by the way. How funny and immature would that sound?

So during this semester's holiday (Christmas is coming, hohohoho~!!), I had to do a little homework, do a little discussion with my mentors --> (the professional way to refer my parents) and make a good decision on where and what practical should I do. I could already imagine Mentor Mom voting for becoming a substitute teacher as the practical while Mentor Dad may also follow suit.

I wish working at KFC and McDonald is considered as a practical, for experience in public relation service, we could call it.

Singlelicious!

I was doing my Masscom assignment this midnight when suddenly my former student whom I taught in St Mary last year messaged me. Afif (bukan nama sebenar) is now a Form 1 student in my alma mater, SMK Methodist, and he told me that he liked a girl in his current school and I asked him if he already had a girlfriend, he said no, and of course I was expecting this question from him eventually. "Cikgu dah ada gerek belum?" which means "Teacher, do you have a boyfriend now?" As usual, I answered my former student the truth, which is a NO. And what was the reply? "Yalah cikgu malu gilak... hehe.." which means "You're shy, that's why." I was like, what, that's not the reason I am single till now. Yes, I admit I was shy back in high school. Not only shy, coward was more like it. But now, I don't think I am shy, cause I am not. I do mix with the guys, and I treated them like buddies.

The honest reason I don't have a boyfriend till now is that maybe just like Anne of Green Gables, I put high ideals on the guy of my dreams, such as he has to be tall, he has to be handsome, he has to be gentleman, he has to be charming, bla, bla, bla, so maybe that was why I didn't have a boyfriend till now. But do I seem to care? No, but err, yeah, I do admit that I sometimes envy some girls who got a lot of gifts like chocolates and teddy bears from their boyfriend but no, I wouldn't want to have a boyfriend just so I could have all these gifts. That would be such a shallow intention. I don't want to have a boyfriend just because everybody does or because my juniors have boyfriends, or even because my former students have their partners. I want to have a special someone for the sole reason that I am meant to have one. :) If I am not meant to have a boyfriend even until I become an old lady, then it's okay, because it doens't hurt to lose something which you never have at the first place right? It's better for me to never been in a relationship than to let myself got hurt when the relationship ended. To prevent is better than to cure, right? Okay, I know this is subjective, but in my case, this is like this.

Now, I don't even care if suddenly a guy who fits my ideals (handsome + gentleman + generous) appear, cause I am not sure if I would have a chemistry with him. Yeah, what I really want is a chemistry, someone who is compatible with me. I rather have someone who doesn't fit my ideals, but yet have the chemistry, than someone who fits my ideals but zero chemistry together. Cause there will be no sparks, no life in that relationship. If nobody is compatible or have a chemistry with me, then it's okay, I will stay single, rather than to settle for second best or whoever comes my way cause it's unfair. Unfair to the person and to me. So I settle for being friends with all cause I know friendship stays permanent than the romantic relationship.

Therefore, here I would like to tell all the single ladies out there not to be down just because you don't have your own man cause it's not a crime to be single. It's not embarassing at all to tell others that you never have a boyfriend before. Let's enjoy our single moments than wishing to have what we're not sure of because you might regret if you do not treasure your single moment cause it's the only time you get to pamper yourself. Embrace your singelilicious girls!! Cheers!!

I'm Alive...

But my blog wasn't, during the Raya holidays till now..

Okay, the reason was that I had a little problem signing in to Gmail and all the google accounts, thank God that there wasn't any really important e-mail in my inbox these few days. Well, the other reason that I hate to admit was that I wasn't motivated to blog. Facebook had taken 99% of my attention and energy. ;S

There were many activities during the holiday but I don't have the time to list them all out here. If only I could upload the pictures here and let them do the talking, or perhaps writing, in this context.

Today, as usual, I am going to attend the CUS weekly gathering, but this week it's a bit different. I have to handle the worship part. I don't know how to handle this. I won't freak out if it was something like behind the curtain thingy but this thing, I am sure gonna be dead. Yeah, I know, for some of you who have been a professional in handling praise and worship will think that it's not a big deal to handle just one part, which is the worship part. BUT.. for someone like me, who doesn't like to do presentation or standing in front of public, I just have a rough idea on how to handle it. Plus, worship thingy is the slow sentimental part, you gotta build the feel, you gotta make people feel touched through your prayer but me, I don't have that skill, like Debbie (former CUS exco) and Harianna has. Both of them were very good in handling praise and worship and I salute them for that.

Today, I have lots of things to do in my mind, my assignments, activitiy and again assignments.. Huhuhu..

Oh, Lord.. Help me not to sing in squeaky voice and help me to be able to touch people through my voice..And help me to complete the assignment days before the deadline. Amen..